#i haven’t had a proper meal for 3 days and WHY

[entropys]

.

[shizuturnspages]

Here’s an idea: yan!Thoma’s darling “escapes” (aka musters up enough courage to not be stopped by the guilt and manipulation) and he does not stop them from leaving. Then they find out the hard way you need to have a job to bring food to the table, that stuff costs mora, and that they don’t really have anyone else to help them out. They then proceed to realize they were being unreasonable and “took Thoma for granted” and…they end up having to grovel at his feet to have him take them back in, and he does because of course he knew this was all a tantrum for his attention and-. Please tell me you see my vision

I love your idea!!! It's so different from the usual yandere plots. I tried my best to write this according to what you requested, so here you go <3

You’ve thought about leaving for a while now. It’s not that easy, though, is it? Every time you so much as entertained the idea of walking out that door, something stopped you. Guilt? Maybe. Fear? Definitely. But today’s different. You’ve finally worked up the courage—or maybe just enough desperation—to do it. Your heart pounds in your chest as you grab the few things you can, shoving them into an old, beat-up backpack. The house is quiet, too quiet, as if it knows what you're about to do.

Thoma's not around. He hasn’t been for a few days now, which is probably why you think you’ve got a chance. You tell yourself that he doesn’t control you, that you don’t need his permission to leave, even though deep down, you know that’s bullshit. He’s not physically here, but you still feel him everywhere, like a shadow that clings to your every thought.

With your hand on the doorknob, you take a breath, the kind of breath that says, this is it. You pull the door open and step outside. For the first time in a long time, you feel the cool air on your skin, untainted by his presence. You’re free, or at least, you tell yourself that.

---

Days go by, and at first, the feeling is almost euphoric. You’re out. You’ve done what you thought you couldn’t. Hell, maybe you were even a little proud of yourself. But then the reality sets in.

Turns out, freedom isn’t what you thought it would be. The little money you managed to scrape together is already running low. You find yourself standing in line at some dingy convenience store, counting out change just to buy a loaf of bread and a few cans of whatever was cheapest. You think back to the meals Thoma used to make—how he always had the kitchen stocked, how you never had to worry about going hungry. You shake your head, trying to force those thoughts away. You left him for a reason, didn’t you?

The first night you spend alone is in a rundown motel that smells like stale smoke and old regrets. The bed is lumpy, and the sheets are thin, but you tell yourself it’s better than being back there. You toss and turn for hours, sleep refusing to come. And when you finally drift off, the dreams are relentless. Thoma’s voice, his face, his hands—they’re all there, reminding you that he’s still got a hold on you, even when he’s not around.

When you wake up, you’re more exhausted than before, but you push through. You have to. You start looking for a job, figuring that it’s the next logical step, right? Independence means paying your own way. But it’s not as easy as you thought. Applications go out, but the phone never rings. Days pass, and that knot in your stomach tightens a little more with each rejection.

---

It’s around the two-week mark that things really start to fall apart. Your money’s almost gone, and you’re still jobless. You haven’t eaten a proper meal in days, and the constant gnawing in your gut feels like it’s going to swallow you whole. You’re tired, so damn tired, and not just physically. It’s like a weight pressing down on your chest, making it harder to breathe with every passing day.

You think about him more often now. Not just in your dreams, but during the long, silent hours when there’s nothing to distract you from the void you’re sinking into. You remember the way he’d look at you, those dark eyes that seemed to see right through you, that smile that always seemed a little too knowing. And you hate yourself for it, but a part of you starts to miss it. Miss him.

What the hell is wrong with you?

---

Eventually, your situation becomes desperate enough that you swallow what little pride you have left. You call the one person you swore you wouldn’t. It takes a few tries, but finally, the line clicks, and his voice—his voice—comes through the phone, smooth and calm, like he’s been expecting this call all along.

“Hey.”

You don’t say anything at first. Your mouth is dry, and your throat tightens up. But he doesn’t rush you. He never does. He knows you’ll speak when you’re ready.

“I, uh…” You hate how shaky your voice sounds, hate that you’re even having this conversation. “I need help.”

Silence on the other end, but you can almost feel his smirk through the phone. When he finally speaks, it’s like velvet wrapping around your brain, pulling you in.

“Of course you do.”

You grit your teeth, hating how easy it is for him to sound so… smug. Like he knew this was coming from the start. And maybe he did. Maybe deep down, you did too. But that doesn’t make it any easier to hear.

“Can we… can we talk?” Your voice cracks on the last word, and you cringe at how weak you sound.

He doesn’t hesitate. “Come home.”

Home. That word. It’s like a knife twisting in your gut because the truth is, you don’t even know where home is anymore. But you agree, because what else can you do?

---

When you show up at his door, it’s like you never left. The house looks exactly the same. The air even smells the same, like the world had been frozen in time while you were gone. Thoma opens the door, and there’s that smile again—the one that always made you feel like he knew something you didn’t.

“You look like shit,” he says, but there’s no malice in his tone. In fact, there’s a strange tenderness in his eyes, something that makes you want to collapse into his arms right then and there.

“I know,” you mutter, looking down at your feet, unable to meet his gaze. You don’t want to see the pity—or worse, the satisfaction—there.

He steps aside, and you walk in, your legs feeling like they’re made of lead. The house is warm, and instantly, you feel a strange sense of comfort. Like sinking into a bath after standing out in the cold for too long. He doesn’t say anything as he leads you to the kitchen, where the smell of food hits you like a punch to the gut. Your stomach growls loudly, and you flush in embarrassment.

“Sit,” he says, gesturing to the table. You do as you’re told, because what choice do you have?

He sets a plate of food in front of you—something simple, but it smells like heaven. You don’t even wait for him to sit down before you start shoveling it into your mouth, too hungry to care about manners.

Thoma watches you, his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the counter. He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes on you, burning into your skin. It’s suffocating and comforting all at once.

“You know,” he finally says after a long silence, “I didn’t stop you from leaving.”

You freeze, fork halfway to your mouth. Slowly, you look up at him. There’s something in his eyes now—something dark, something that makes your stomach churn.

“Yeah, I noticed,” you say, voice barely above a whisper.

He nods, like he expected that answer. “I knew you’d come back.”

It’s a simple statement, but the weight of it crushes you. You want to argue, want to tell him that you could’ve made it on your own if things had been different. But the truth is, you’re not sure you believe that anymore.

He steps closer, and you can’t help but flinch, even though you know he’s not going to hurt you. He kneels in front of you, tilting his head to meet your eyes.

“You threw a tantrum,” he says softly, like he’s explaining something to a child. “But I knew you’d come back. You always do.”

You bite your lip, trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill over. You don’t want to cry in front of him. Not again. But the exhaustion, the hunger, the shame—it all comes crashing down on you, and before you know it, you’re sobbing, your shoulders shaking with the force of it.

Thoma doesn’t say anything. He just watches, his hand resting on your knee, a silent reminder of his presence.

And you hate him for it. But more than that, you hate yourself.

[quinloki]

Quin idk why but I’m blaming this on you

Someone called me clever girl at work tonight and I just

My brain immediately went to Marco omfg hearing that from him would fix all my problems I think!!!!

I also got called the brains of my area so…. There’s my brag :3

>.>

Imagine you’ve been trying to get Marco to take a break for a while now. He’s tossed “in a moment” and “let me finish this up” and “after lunch, I’ll try, pretty bird.” At you and you just can’t get him to stop.

The day ends in disaster from your perspective because Marco doesn’t take a break until bedtime.

The next day you try a different approach.

You bring him coffee in the morning, then a light breakfast he can eat while he works, another snack after that, and some tea. You continue to bring him easy to eat items from morning to lunch time, and with every delivery you either undo a button on your shirt or discard a piece of clothing.

He notices and comments and you just say it’s been a bit warm running around. You’re not indecent, and you don’t give it any more energy than that.

After lunch you bring him a drink and you’re in a bikini top and shorts. Hair pulled back as you go about organizing and tidying things to help where you can.

“Pretty bird.” He says, a knowing lilt in his easy voice.

“Mm?” You return, not even looking over your shoulder.

Marco grins. “You haven’t asked me to take a break today.”

“You’re a busy man,” you reply, a smile on your lips and in your tone as you finally turn and look at him.

“Indeed. You’ve been bringing me lots of,” he lets his eyes move over you, taking a beat to pause. “Snacks, today, yoi.”

Finally. It didn’t always take so much effort to get him to take a break, but he had been truly swamped the last week and you had to be a little unorthodox.

Walking over to him you tease pulling the bikini top off. “Ready to focus on a proper meal?” The devious grin pulling at your lips is reflected on his face.

Marco reaches out, two firm hands on your hips as he brings you into his lap, leaning back as he helps you straddle him. “Maybe after an improper dessert.” He hums, pulling at your top as he leans in and presses kisses against your chest.

“You’re freezing.” He grumbles, the teasing look on his face turning a little sharp.

“We came into a winter island’s climate a couple hours ago.” You admit with guilty shrug. “I wasn’t going to get you take a break if I started putting clothes back on.”

“Pretty bird,” he admonished and you kiss the top of his nose.

“I’m freezing doc, instead of taking break won’t you tend to your patient, and warm me up?” You lean into him, tugging at the collar of his shirt as you give him a playful pout.

He chuckles, his admonishment disappearing. “Clever girl.” Cradling your face he pulls you in for a kiss. “How many little schemes did you have planned out?”

You grin widely. “Only two, don’t give me too much credit. My third option was undecided, but dumping a bucket of cold sea water on you was considered.”

“Maybe I should just toss you overboard.” He grouches and you giggle grabbing onto him tightly.

“Noooo, it’s really really cold out there right now!” Your laugh turns into a moan as Marco kisses your neck. “Ah, please… warm me up.”

“With pleasure, pretty bird.”

[marengogo]

Are You Sure?! - #3: Jungkook Is My Chef - Jin, 2020

Neva Play - by Megan Thee Stallion feat. RM 

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Hello sassy Gurls, Bois and Enbys, how y’all do~ing?

Told ya I was gonna use this gif a lot, this is basically me, for real - for real! Hope you are enjoying Neva Play by Megan Thee Stallion feat. RM, and I also hope you get to feel relaxed at some point in your day/week/life, which by the way, I have been feeling for the past 5 days and let me tell you relaxing was a very old feeling I hadn’t felt in such a long-ass time that I am frankly shocked and I am loving it. You know, that feeling where I can finally feel myself completely, talk to those I want to talk when I want to, and go about my day with absolutely no hurry:

Revolutionary! Staycations are where it’s at. If you haven’t tried it, I highly advise it.

Anyways.

Staying at home and only leaving the house for more relaxing activities got me thinking about a lot of things, one of these things being JK & Domesticity. As we all know or not my Twin-flame is not big on travelling, to be precise, he hates walking. He is the type of guy who would rather stay at home and cook you a very exquisite meal accompanied with the perfect drink he is a proper Earth sign he is a Staycation Connoisseur; what did you think he had all those mattresses for?! Duh. Another thing he’s not big on is doing things he doesn’t want to, and/or doesn’t like, add that to travelling and you have the perfect How to Turn-Off JK Package 😬.

But people the members at some point figured out a way to get around this particular aversions of his, being was bribery 😌, which would usually go “If you come with me to X, you’ll get to do Y”. Now, that was for 17 years old JK, who was extremely bad with the aforementioned, but let me tell you about 27 year old JK, you still might have to bribe him to a certain extent, but the acceptance rate is much easier; the growth is 👌🏾. However, you know who actually even doesn’t have to bribe a 27 year old JK? Literally, this person just has to ask? If anything JK has been the one trying to bribe this person for a good year 😬… Yeah! You guessed it, this guy 👇🏾

I don’t want to call my Twin-Flame a simp, cause he can definitely stand on business, but sometimes bro 🙄… 😩… anyways I’ll let him off for today. I’ll let him off because in all honesty, I am very impressed, and somewhat touched, by the level of attention he’s been bestowing JM during each episode, but real talk, he's been at it for years now, particularly when it comes to food, which is one of JK’s biggest loves so big it could compete with JM and also just so happens to be something that JM seems to be … somewhat selective about. 

The first time I clued in on this was during this live:

During this live, JM just so casually informed JK that the champagne they were being served was the only champagne he could drink, and you could literally see JK’s eyes and brain making notes. Not sure why JK had to know that bit of information, but sure, okay 🙄… this was November 2021. Fast forward to October 2022, almost a whole year later, during this live: 

Our Party-Party-Yeah Unit gets together and JK prepares champagne for everyone, except JM, at which Tae tries to make JM drink, which he refuses, and Hobi tries to understand why he is not drinking it, at which JM explains:

JK kept silent the whole while drinking and eating as one does when food is your passion, cause he knew better, in fact, he knew so much better that going back to 2021, during JM’s birthday live in October, even before the “Champagne Live”, he casually gifted JM a bottle of joy and 3 bottles of water of course, because even though JM asked for 1, you never know when you might need more water, you know?! 🤡 (Also, I’ll have you know that, personally, I am team JK Prepared That BD Cake, but as always, to each their own beliefs). 

So let’s keep fast-forwarding. We are now in 2023 and from America to Korea to Japan, Airplane pat.2 style, this is JK:

So my question here is: Does this look like the type of knowledge that a person who rarely sees someone would be in possession of? Imagine getting to seldomly meet someone and all you do is ask them about their dietary requirements, just so you can meet them again briefly and … recite said requirements to them? Not when they have the same inside jokes, the same taste, and, out of all the members, they seem to be very invested in couple-matching clothing like heavily?

Doesn’t it make more sense for this to perhaps be the result of continuous exposure to a certain behaviour/situation? JM often eats spicy things, hence he likes spicy things. JM likes this particular combination of flavours, so I think he will like this kimbap, also this sukiyaki and that ramen, etc etc etc. I’ve cooked so many things with pink sausage for JM, I was way shocked when he said it was ham! … All I am saying is that if JK didn’t budge when Tae couldn’t tell the difference between ham and pink sausage, but was hella shocked when JM couldn’t, he must have his reasons to assume that JM ought to have known. 

Y’all think I’m reaching about JK being very knowledgeable about JM’s nutrition facts? Understandable … but my husband 💅🏾 if you are new to my blog, Jin is my husband 🤡 seems to have thought the same thing as me shocker all the way back in 2020 as shown by this Festa profile that he filled while “pretending” to be JM:

This profile lives rent free in my head, and to this day, I’d like to ask my husband what was the reason? He was able to come up with very abstract, and profound, associations for all the members, except JK, his was very concrete and oddly specific; don’t you think? Cause you know what? If you think about it a little harder, you can be cuties, next-chair-soul-mates, god-like, aegyo-buddies, and best friends at a distance. But a chef? You gotta be physically present to cook and feed someone... and I’ll leave that at that. Very specific I tell you. Very specific.

This was literally all I think he truly wanted: a staycation with JM. 

All JK wanted was to “have a drink with JM”, most likely because he thought he couldn’t ask for more during their busy schedules. BTW, how mad is it to tell your mate that you are going to a whole other country to have a drink with someone? Though he does strike me to be the type of guy who gets you in for one drink and makes you stay for eggs, jussayin’ …

This was supposed to be just one trip. Once again, JK had tried all year to get some alone time with JM, so if one trip was all he got, to make the memories he might have felt he needed to get by in case they didn’t get to enlist together which they didn’t know during they would have during the NY trip: THEN SO BE IT. After all he had settled for a drink, one trip? Now that's luxury!

YET…  

NY - JM was kijul most of the time so, out-of-the-blue-cheese, caretaker was added as a job description. BUT not to fret … they got to go on another trip. Hell yeah!

JEJU - Last minute change: They ended up becoming hosts, which hey, they were great hosts! The guest had fun and the hosts were delighted. Win-win.

SAPPORO - … I wouldn’t be surprised if JK stopped by a trusted shaman before the trip, in order to learn preventive measures 🤡 not all shamans are evil y’all …. 

Winter. Snow. Reminiscing: Perfection 👌🏾. 

I think he would have been ready to Taekwondoo anyone who dared to come between Him and his JM Time. TBH I would have been ready to fight as well, I am his Twin-Flame after all and all I really ever want is for him to have what he wants. ALWAYS. I honestly truly want him to be happy, as much as possible, which, on this Sapporo trip, he seems to be a lot, by the looks of it particularly when all he wants is a drink in good company.

To conclude, the way I am looking forward, but also not, to episode 7 and 8 y’all can’t even begin to understand 🤡. JK’s excitement, romantic spirit, and clinginess levels are off the roof bro, so I’m a bit, on my toes he a simp he a simp he a simp. One thing I will also have to say tho, which I am fairly glad about, is that both JM & JK have finally learned how to be ready for the presence of a camera; kudos to you bros! 🤡

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo.

[rshoumon]

BSD BOYS WHEN YOU SAY “I LOVE YOU”

platonic! but romantic undertones if you wish to see it that way <3 bsd and reader are friends (acquaintances (?) for aku)

CHARACTERS: akutagawa, atsushi, dazai, chuuya

WARNINGS: mentions of suicide (the usual dazai thing)

AKUTAGAWA:

you don’t remember how it happened

it must have been sometime after a mission you’d been sent on, and fate decided that you and the stone-faced mafioso would meet once again

despite being a member of the ada, due to how frequently you two got stuck in the same space, the air between akutagawa and yourself had slowly become less hostile as you both decided to keep a neutral stance concerning the other’s existence

he’d saved you once again from a common enemy you were both faced against, an act that simultaneously knocked out your aggressor

all you could think about was how tired you felt, barely capable of creating coherent thoughts

“your carelessness will get you killed one day. i will relish such an event when it happens.”

you’d snort.

“your enthusiasm is admirable. be sure to bring that to the table whenever you get a date. if that’s even possible.”

it was his turn to look at you with disgust

“you’re a fool if you think such customs are of any value to me.“

“right, right. you’re married to your work, sorry i forgot.”

“shut your trap l/n, you’re lucky i’ve allowed you to speak so carelessly as long as you have.”

“and i love you too akutagawa.”

your statement was delivered as a sarcastic remark, yet you couldn’t help but notice the sudden silence that hung thick in the air.

“you alive over there?”

“shut. up.”

ATSUSHI:

“dazai dumped another one of his assignments on you?”

you looked at the hardworking boy who currently stood on a ladder, nodding his head as he de-webbed the small crevices against the ceiling

he was hard at work, yet the subtle frown on his lips told you his enthusiasm was lacking

“yeah … it’s not too bad though. at least not this time.”

you’d nod your head, silently noting how much cleaner the office looked as attributed to atsushi’s efforts

“do you want me to get you something to eat?”

“only if you get something for yourself while you’re at it. don’t go acting like you’ve been doing nothing either.”

atsushi gave you one of those looks, reminiscent of the kind mothers would shoot towards their kids if they were suspicious on if they were taking proper care of themselves

“dawwww ～! you’re worried about little ‘ole me? i’m feeling all warm ‘n cozy now.”

all you received was a sheepish chuckle from the boy a few feet away.

“love you ‘tsushi!”

“hahaha … l-love you too?”

he flashed you a smile as sheepish as the laugh he’d released a few seconds prior. he wasn’t quite used to saying such words so casually, even if it was to a friend

he’d still watch you with a soft gaze as you made your way to the kitchen with your newfound determination to make the both of you a meal

DAZAI:

“y/nnnnnnn!”

dazai’s gleeful voice could be heard as he entered the office space in a dramatic flair. were you a fool, you would have thought that there wasn’t a single problem in the world for him. but this was dazai, there was always something that had to be done

“if you need me to do one of your errands, you may as well forget it.”

you continued to write a report for your most recent expedition out in the slums of yokohama. and what an experience it was

“so cruel! and i haven’t even said anything yet.”

a pout fell upon the man’s lips as he finally reached his desk, resting his head on the surface while peeking at your paper

“ohhhh! i see someone’s been busy ～ gone so far as having an unfortunate meeting with the port mafia hm?”

“yeah … fun.”

your eyes remained glued on the paper before you, ignoring the man-child at your side

“well then, after this why don’t we go out and do something fun ～? i heard there’s a festival in town, maybe there i can find someone to commit double suicide with!”

“i wish you good luck with that.” you’d hum in reply. “though … that does sound fun.”

“YOU MEAN YOU’D COMMIT DOUBLE-SUICIDE WITH ME?”

“NOT THAT YOU DUMBASS! I MEANT THE FESTIVAL!”

after some mindless banter, you find yourselves at the festival side by side, enjoying the spectacles around you

you didn’t think much when you said it, and you definitely didn’t think dazai would hear those three magical words slip past your lips as you gazed out at the fireworks

you couldn’t see it, due to your focus being adverted to the scene in front of you, but there was an unusual softness to his face then, even if just a second

CHUUYA:

“you couldn’t have asked anyone else to accompany you?”

the exhausted tone of the boy next to you was undeniable, paired with that bored look on his face, you were tempted to simply swat him away

“at this rate, your exhaustion is going to rub off on the both of us.”

you sighed, shifting the pile of boxes within your arms

“good, serves you right for making me your errand boy.”

you remember shoving his shoulder, causing him to almost lose balance of a similar pile of boxes in his grasp

“watch it jackass! can’t you see i’m holding this?”

“serves you right for wishing ill will upon me.”

the both of you bickered all the way to the storage room where you eventually left the boxes. you simply couldn’t wait to get out of there

“well someone’s more exhausted than they initially let on.”

chuuya’s pointed statement made you realize how off balance you felt, leaning sloppily against the concrete wall

“gimmie … five … yawn … minutes …”

you slowly slid down the wall with your eyes shut, soft breaths escaping your lips. you were completely conked out

“dumbass …”

making his way towards your snoozing figure, the red-head scooped you up into his arms quietly muttering about how careless you were

“ … mmmm , love ya chuu.”

you were definitely asleep, not even aware you were being carried by the man as you shifted in his arms

he released a subtle chuckle that vibrated through his chest

“love you too y/n.”

[littledollll]

Hi!! I wonder if I can ask for a caregiver! Larissa x little!reader, maybe like r has a cold and is stressed w school at the same time but didn't want to bother Larissa, but she finds out anyway and it's just some soft comfort and reassurance? :)

Sick little love

Larissa Weems x little!reader

A/n: actually wrote this while I was sick, I love it cuz it’s actually so me when I’m sick. I hope you like it!

Warnings: mentions of medication, sick r (just common cold), mentions of food

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

You felt like death the second you woke up, honestly! You had so much to do and since your mind and body are apparently so in zinc it also happens that you got sick. Now it wasn’t anything horrible, just a common cold, scratchy throat and maybe a light fever. Nothing you haven’t dealt with before.

When you woke up Larissa was already gone off to work, so that gave you the great illusion that you could somehow in the span of 8 hours get better and not be sick by the time Larissa was back. And also have all your work done, simple!

Everything just got more complicated when you regressed. You could handle being sick while big but while you were regressed? It was absolute hell, plus this took away your ability to get school work done so out the window went that part of the plan.

Your dramatic little mind decided that if you were gonna die (sure, from the common cold.) it would be in bed cuddled up and hidden from the world, with a tone of snacks and your favorite shows of course.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You spent the entire day half conscious, most of the time you were sleeping and the rest mindlessly watching a plethora of different shows and videos to keep you entertained. Was that the most responsible on your part? Maybe not. Should you have called Larissa? Maybe!

But you really didn’t want to bother her if you were just going to spend the day sleeping anyways. Forgetting the fact that you should probably be watching your temperature, getting proper meals and maybe taking some meds you were doing quite good for yourself.

You were absolutely baffled when you heard Larissa come home, did a whole 8 hours pass without you ever noticing? There’s no way. When you checked the time it was only 12pm, Larissa got off at 3 so what was she doing here? Your doubts were cleared up the moment she made her way into the room.

It didn’t take much of a genius to figure out your state. The bed was a mess and your pile of stuffies that was supposed be on the chair next to the bed were all with you, the tv was blasting with some kids show you don’t even remember putting on and the box of tissues next to the bed proved your attempt to control your cold.

“I would’ve asked you to explain why you’ve been absent in every class but I think I’ve seen enough, there comes my next question.” Larissa made her way to you side. Sitting on the edge of the bed and checking your temperature. “You poor thing. Why didn’t you call to tell me, my little love?”

The second she sat on the bed you threw yourself on her. You really really wanted to be held and babied right now. Larissa was quick to pull you into her lap and cuddle you close. “m didn wana bother you” you pouted.

“You could never bother me, sweetheart. I’m here to love and care for you in any way I can, specially if you’re sick and even more so when you’re small.” She cupped your face making you look at her.

“Have you had anything for your allergies or fever, my love?” you shook your head, you’ve always hated medicine, they’re hard to drink and if their liquid they taste horrible, absolutely nobody could get you to willingly take any of that. “make sleepy n I hav work!!”

“Oh do you now? Well momma will help you with all your work after you take your medicine and your nap.” you were expecting that half excuse to somehow work. “Come on, little love, we’ll fix you something to eat so you can take them.” There was really no arguing against her now, so you reluctantly followed behind her to the kitchen.

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

After you had a light meal and got your meds, Larissa helped you into the bath. You hadn’t regressed that small so she just kept tabs on you regularly and continued on with whatever she was doing.

After about 20 minutes she called you to come out. You giggled as she dried your hair and helped you getting into comfy clothes for even more sleeping, which of course you had no complains about.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” she asked while tucking you into bed, “sleepy!” you huffed our like that was your only issue in that moment and she chuckled. “Yes little love we knew that was going to happen, I’m asking about your cold.”

You made grabby hands her way and she complied getting into bed immediately getting attacked with cuddles, “m beters” you sleepily answered, curling up at her side. “Alright darling, rest up, I’ll be right here when you wake.”

You made grabby hands her way and she complied getting into bed immediately getting attacked with cuddles, “m beters” you sleepily answered, curling up at her side. “Alright darling, rest up, I’ll be right here when you wake.”

You made grabby hands her way and she complied getting into bed immediately getting attacked with cuddles, “m beters” you sleepily answered, curling up at her side. “Alright darling, rest up, I’ll be right here when you wake.”

[lesbonym]

Woooooooo I did the thing! No dialogue and left it on a cliffhanger of sorts so you could follow up with whatever you’d do :3

And now, the vampire story I hyped up far too much:

The deep, deep hours in the night were always the best for hunting, and oh how hungry you had gotten. Small critters weren’t enough to sustain you, no it had been days since you had a good meal. You needed to feed, but the local areas had gotten smart and people hadn’t wandered the woods in weeks.

Then, you hear a small rustle. Soft groans and little scoffs as someone was blindly shuffling their way through the underbrush. A someone… Finally a proper meal is dumb enough to fall right into your clutches. You lie in wait as the sound gets closer and closer, and oh the smell of her blood. Having to wait as she goes right where you want her begins to feel torturous, but it’ll be worth it.

She inches closer and closer, your prey so close, until finally you see her. Pale moonlight filters through the trees and seems to make her glow. For a meal this good, why not play with your food a little? A simple little dart is all it takes to send her to sleep, and now you can take a closer look.

You see her. You see me. The moonlight still making my skin radiate a soft glow and my face still holds some of the shocked expression I had when I fell asleep. It’d be so easy to take what you want right here, right now, but where’s the fun in that?

I wake up hours later in a bed not my own, tied down and gagged. We’re too far away for anyone to possibly hear my screams for help, but you wanted to avoid the headache anyway. Nonetheless I try to kick and scream, pushing against the restraints and getting nothing. I haven’t spotted you yet, lurking in the shadows to just watch your little prey fight. Once I do though, my flailing seems to weaken and my screams quiet. I’m distracted.

You stride up to my side, finger trailing across my skin like the point of a knife, leaving a small scratch in your wake. Your meal, so close now, so delicious, so vulnerable.

Take me

-🐦‍⬛

God, I can't help to watch from the shadows as you frantically squirm like the cutest frightened prey. I can't help the grin that grows across my face when you finally see me and something about me soothes you. A whisper in your mind that you know you shouldn't listen to. I wonder how your chest would heave as I come closer to the bed and see you looking so perfect.

I'd straddle your hips with inhuman perfection just to keep you pinned under me as I mark your skin with my nail. The smell of your caution and fear and the frantic race of your heartbeat makes me want to devour you. But I've learned over the centuries.

I'll dig my nail into the skin of your collarbone just to get a few drops of blood, bending down to drag my tongue just to get a taste. You taste so perfect that I can't help but want all of you, the sound of your whines just making me more desperate for more. I'll tear through whatever fabric is in my way, my lips kissing you all over while my hands play with your pretty tits.

I'd finally pull the gag from your mouth just so I can swallow your whimpers with my own lips. I need you wanting for me. It makes you all the sweeter. Once I hear the pretty sounds of your moans, I'll finally start to kiss down your jaw. Maybe I'll slip my thigh between your legs for you to grind against it if I'm feeling extra nice.

I need to listen to listen to your little gasps when you feel my fangs drag against your skin. I can't help but moan at the adorable noises you make once they sink in. Wanna feel you writhe in pleasure as my hands make you feel good. Your moans just make your blood taste so sweet.

Don't worry, I won't take all of it. You just taste so good, you have to be all mine. I can't let you go so I have to keep you here with me where it's safe. What if someone else tries to hurt you or feed from you? I can't let that happen.

[sunshine-overload]

[BSTS] Heath S5Ch5 Reward 5* Card Story

(note: B’s show is based on ‘No Longer Human’ by Ozamu Dazai)

chapter 1 -starless kitchen, dining area-

ran: This is where we eat.

hinata: Oh~ So you even have a proper eating area, and we get staff meals right? That’s so cool.

ran: That’s cause as cast members we need our bodies to be in good shape.

kongou: Ran, Hinata, sorry for the wait. Here’s your food.

hinata: Woah, this looks delicious! No seriously, is this a five star restaurant? This is so extravagant, can I really eat this?

ran: You’re still an outsider. Usually ya wouldn’t have the privilege to eat in here.

kongou: It’s fine. We can’t just leave him to starve. I’ve already heard from Mizuki that you haven’t been able to eat much lately.

ran: Ya better show your gratitude to Kongou. It’s not just anyone that gets this treatment.

hinata: Thank you so much, Kongou! You too, Ran!

kongou: You’re welcome, feel free to dig in. There’s still lots to go around.

hinata: Yay! Down the hatch it goes!

hinata: ….Mmmmm~! Holy crap, this might just be the tastiest thing I’ve ever eaten.

kongou: I’m glad to hear it.

hinata: Here I can earn money, and eat such delicious meals… This is just, how do you say it, I could ask for anything more….?

ran: Ya couldn’t ask for anything more?

hinata: Yeah that! Man, I wanna join B so bad!

ran: It’s not that simple.

hinata: Even if I give it my all?

ran: Just cause ya work hard doesn’t mean it’ll always be recognised an’ all that.

hinata: Well, I’ll do my best to the point I’ll definitely be recognised! And then, with Heath I’ll… Ah, Heath!

heath: …….

hinata: Did you come here to eat as well, Heath? Come on over, let’s eat together!

heath: …I’ll pass. I’m not in the mood.

hinata: Aw, I thought we could chat finally… He didn’t watch my performance either, even though I want to get along with him…

kongou: No need to rush things.

ran: That’s just how Heath is. The more ya chase him, the further he’ll run away.

hinata: …Is that so. Then, that just means I have to slowly spend more time with him and we’ll get along, right?

ran: Well, sure, do ya best.

-hallway-

heath: That guy’s colour, why is it so…

—end

-

chapter 2 -rehearsal room-

mokuren: Sorry, I know you’re in the middle of independent practice, but I’m coming in.

heath: …What? But it’s not your scheduled time yet, right?

mokuren: I have something I want to ask you. What do you think of Hinata?

heath: He’s whatever.

mokuren: Hmph… How vague. Just tell it to me straight whether or not you think he’s needed.

heath: Whether he joins the team or not is up to the team leader to decide. So go and ask Mizuki.

mokuren: Well that’s surprising.

heath: What is?

mokuren: In my case, what I prioritise isn’t the team, but my dance. It is true that I require a team in order to dance but… If there’s even the slightest chance that prioritising the team would result in me losing my place to dance, then there would be no point.

heath: …….

mokuren: I had thought you were of the same opinion, that’s all.

heath: Is that all then? I want to get back to rehearsing.

mokuren: Sure. I’ll do as you said and talk to Mizuki. Sorry for bothering you.

-mokuren leaves-

heath: A place I need to be… B is my…

—end

-

chapter 3 -starless backrooms-

heath: Hm…?

hinata: …I know right. Yeah, and then…

heath: This voice…

-heath eavesdrops-

hinata (on phone): Mizuki said to make me their understudy. Aha, I’m so happy I can’t even right now, I mean, I actually get to join B!

heath: ..….!

hinata (on phone): Their show today was awesome again too! Plus their stage outfits are suuuper cool! Heath’s especially! I wanna wear an outfit like his one day too~ I’m sure it would suit me, don’t you think?

-heath moves away-

heath: That guy… Just what on earth is that colour?

mizuki: Oi, what are you doing hanging out here? You better not be slacking on cleaning duty.

hinata: Sorry, Mizuki! I just had to take a phone call.

mizuki: Whatever, just get back to work already. You aint free right now.

hinata: Wait up, Mizuki!

-they leave-

heath: …I won’t give it up. Not my words, or my place to belong. For the sake of them, I will…

—end

-

chapter 4 -starless restaurant area-

saki: (I’m looking forward to the show today.)

-show starts-

-bloomed cg

heath: “Is the person pictured in the third photograph here still with us? Is the person in this photograph… actually ‘living’?”

saki: (…The delivery of his lines is so soft yet their impact is strong. I wonder if you’d call this an unsettling delivery…)

-time pass, after show, hallway-

saki: Ah, Heath-san. You did great out there.

heath: …Thanks.

saki: Are you ok…? You look a little out of breath.

heath: I’m fine. It’s nothing to do with my condition. I just used up all my energy on stage so I’m tired.

saki: Your show today really was amazing, make sure you don’t push yourself too much though.

heath: Yeah, thanks. Hey, Saki, let’s play a little game.

saki: A game? Like that ‘what if’ game we played once before?

heath: This time let’s play the ‘game of antonyms’. All you need to do is think of either an antonym or a synonym to the proposed word.

saki: This is the same game that appeared in your show isn’t it? Ok, I understand.

heath: Then, let’s start with ‘living’, what’s its antonym?

saki: (He started with a difficult word right off the bat…)

saki: …Well, typically the answer would be ‘death’ I suppose.

heath: Then, what’s the antonym to ‘death’?

saki: …What do you think it is, Heath-san?

heath: ‘Singing’. Because if I’m not able to sing, then I’d consider that death. I had thought that as long as it was for the sake of singing, then I was fine with dying. However, I managed to survive, and here I am before you today.

saki: Heath-san….

heath: So, because of that, I have to make a choice. In order for me to continue singing from now on.

—end

[heymeowmao]

2023.01.23 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324861142718873967

Xiao Ning is here to wish you a Happy New Year!!

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. Xiao Ning is here to wish you a Happy New Year! LYN: Happy New Year, Happy New Year.

C: How come you’re only here now? All the food’s gone cold. LYN: You can eat first, don’t wait for me. Just eat a nice meal with your family.

LYN: It’s been 26 days since I last streamed? That’s terrible- 26 days?? I haven’t been attending to my proper duties (不务正业). In that case, it really HAS been a long time since we last met (by stream).

C: My mom and dad are waiting for you so we can eat together. LYN: You’re overthinking it. Friends, it’s the new year, please have mercy on me. Let’s not make trouble for each other during the holidays. Let’s all be happy. Just spend your new year happily with your family. Have “A Good Year”.

C: Ning-ge, I’ve gone crazy thinking of you. LYN: OMG. Don’t. You’ve thought of me so much that you... gave yourself a mental illness? It’s not worth it- and I’ve been making appearances, haven’t I? I was at Jiangsu’s Spring Night last night, even.

C: You’re wearing so little, aren’t you cold? LYN: You mean the short sleeves? There’s something in this world that’s called an “air conditioner”- if you don’t know it, you can look it up. A heater. Do you.. not know that such a thing exists? Also, Ning-ge is young and hardy- I can stand the cold.

C: Why does it seem like your voice is a little hoarse? LYN: Uh... I don’t know either. Maybe it’s because I just woke up. Well, I didn’t JUST wake up- I woke up in the afternoon. I’ve just been sleeping in lately. Earlier I was filming so much there was no TIME to have a good night’s sleep; It made me so sleepy. But these past couple of days it’s the New Year Holiday and I have a few days of rest, so I’m getting my sleep in. So these dark circles get smaller. I’ve been sleeping in. Someone earlier said my voice was hoarse- why? Is it thrilling?

LYN: Many of you are asking if my foot’s alright? Honestly, I don’t even know. It’s still attached? I’m not sure what the situation is, because they didn’t give an x-ray. When they open up again, I’ll get it checked out. For now, it’s the same- the bone’s broken so I should take care of it, what else can I do? The doctors told me- you know what’s strange? Each doctor tells you something different. The first one I went to told me that I could start trying to walk on it after three months. I could use a crutch and slowly start to recover my ability to walk. The next doctor I met told me that it would take at least 6 months. “You can’t mess around with this. You should only try walking after 6 months, otherwise it will leave you with aftereffects, if it heals incorrectly.” That scared me! If I were out of commission for 6 months then that would mean all my future projects will fall through. I met yet another doctor, and they told me I needed pins. I asked them what would happen, and they said after the pins I would need three months to recover before I could walk normally. At that time I had already been resting it for half a month, and this would require me to restart at three and that’s... much. So I gave that up. After that I met ANOTHER doctor, who told me I should continue the conservative treatment and just keep it in the cast and it should be no problem. It’s all about the same- about 100 days/3 months of recovery. Because it’s true that the bone’s broken, and it’s not just a simple matter of having twisted my ankle. I broke one of the bones into three pieces. How scary. C: Does it still hurt? LYN: It doesn’t hurt anymore. I don’t really feel anything. But now my right leg is losing its ability to functionally walk. The only thing I had going for me in this industry was that I had long legs. My face, singing, and acting is all not outstanding. I only had my legs as an advantage, and now I’m currently disabled.  C: It sounds like it hurts. My heart hurts for giegie~ LYN: That’s enough of that. Don’t say useless things. What the heck is “my heart hurts for giegie~”.

C: Are you drinking milk or coconut milk? LYN: Coconut milk. I don’t much like (cow’s) milk. Usually I’ll drink yogurt.

C: Ning-ge, when you attended the Weibo Music Awards and saw the kazoo, how did you feel? [t/n: there was a short kazoo/kazoobie segment, and INTO1 were learning how to play it] LYN: I didn’t feel much of anything. They just brought out a bunch of kazoobie/kazoo on the stage. /playing with them/ I didn’t feel anything. It was... nice to see. C: Ning-ge, blow both at once. LYN: My mouth isn’t that big. There’s a distance between the two mouth holes. Sorry, my mouth isn’t big enough. LYN: That doesn’t mean I can’t try, though.

LYN: Forget it. C: Ning-ge, use a nostril to blow one. LYN: Do I have to try so hard for a stream, now? I have to start doing tricks? You want me to use my nostril to blow a kazoo. Well, how about I attach a tube to it and blow it from a distance? Have you seen those videos? They attach a tube to the suona and blow- such a long distance!- through that? Why don’t I try that, instead? Alright? I’ve got to pull out some tricks otherwise I can’t make you stay and subscribe to my weibo??

C: When will the new drama be announced? LYN: The topic changes so quickly?! You were just asking me to show you some tricks, and now you’re asking about the new drama? The new drama will be announced really soon. Of course I’ll go (be in the crew). Even if my leg is broken, I have to go. At first, like any normal person, I thought of taking some time to for my foot to heal. I didn’t NEED to pack my schedule so tightly and suffer any side effects from not resting it. But after being cursed at online for so long now, I HAVE to take whatever work comes my way, broken foot or no. If I don’t do the work, then that means I’ve been yelled at for nothing. I’d be losing out. I have to accept the work, and I have to do it well.

C: Ning-ge, what’s this bg music? LYN: Don’t butter me up. This is clearly one of my fans trying to pander to me, by asking me what this background music is. Isn’t there a rolling caption up there that keeps reminding you what the song is? This request comes across as a little fake. Next time try to make it more realistic. XD It’s auto-scrolling up there, “Modern Brothers Liu Yuning - A Good Year is currently playing.”

LYN: ! The Carnation Music Festival... I know I said I would hold another one, but you know there was a pandemic situation in Hengdian, and then I had to go to Macau. I was leaving, so I didn’t ask them (bandmates) to come over. Also, Ah-Zhuo had COVID, at the time. I didn’t want him to come over and give it to me, and then I wouldn’t have been able to go to Macau. After that I came back, before the new year and had some filming and events to do... and now it’s the new year. The day before the new year, I even recorded an OST. But this (new) drama should be ok. I won’t be as busy as I was when filming YNGS. I had too many scenes in that, I almost died. This one should be about half the amount of scenes than I had for YNGS. I’ll have time to stream and make some songs, maybe do a variety show. It’s possible, but I can’t say for sure. C: How come your voice changed? (it got gentler) LYN: Is it because we haven’t met in too long? You’ve started missing me, so you feel like I’ve changed. Maybe it’s because I haven’t spoken in too long, so you think my voice has changed? But also my voice is just a little hoarse. Just a little.

- /commenting that the special b-day drone performance they made for him was very nice/ LYN: Anyone who was in Hengdian all sent me messages about it. It gave me a lot of face. Thank you, everyone. The directors, actors, anyone who was in Hengdian at the time all sent me messages about it- “Liu Yuning, look what your fans did for you.” It was cool. You made me look good.

C: How many dishes do you eat for new year’s? LYN: /sigh/ The new year.... I ate bullfrogs (??). I bought a pot of bullfrogs to eat. I hope everything that happens in the year to come will come “gwa gwa” (smoothly).

C: Ning-ge, do you have any skin brightening tips? LYN: Am I a makeup streamer?? Why are you asking me how to get lighter skin on at this time, during the holidays? If I had a method, do you still think I would be so dark?? For lighter skin, just remember to supplement with Vitamin C and try not to go out. Close the curtains so that you’re not getting hit by the sun. If you go out make sure to wear enough clothing to cover up. The more you wear, the whiter you’ll be. Another method is to... rely on the beauty filters. The fastest way to be paler is to turn on a beauty filter. You’ll be a celebrity in an instant. Don’t think about those beauty products- this way you’ll see results much faster!

C: Ning-ge, I’m a student-fan and I want to cross the oceans to see you. LYN: Since you’re a student, you should just focus on your studies. My last batch of student-fans all graduated already. They all already graduated, so I guess you must be part of a new group of fans. Study hard and then get a good job. After you find a job and are making a decent amount of money to support yourself, then you can come and see one of my concerts. You’re in school now, so why do you want to see me? Am I a monkey? Don’t come. You can watch my dramas and variety shows when they air, and listen to my songs when I release them- that’s enough. You can come to see me when I’m holding a concert.

C: Will you have a concert this year? LYN: I really want to, I do, but with this type of thing it’s really too hard to say. If I can’t hold one this year then next year... I’ll hold one? Let me tell you why. For the current drama, I’ll probably be filming until June and by then half a year’s gone by already. If I don’t accept another drama offer for the second half of the year... then that means I’ll have to have been working on releasing my album while I film the current drama, since I can’t hold a concert without having done that first. Then there are the rehearsals and the logistics of it all, which would take until October to finish, and I can only hold a concert then. Just... we’ll see. We’ll see, okay? LYN: I was originally planning on holding my concert this year, because right now- to say it plainly- I have five dramas waiting to be aired. I was thinking I could take a year to rest, and shoot one drama this year and leave the rest of my time to my concert. But then I heard news that all five of my pending dramas will air in 2023. The YNGS producer jiejie told me she thinks YNGS will air this year. What?! ALL FIVE of my dramas will air THIS YEAR?? If that’s the case then I don’t have any backup stock. I would only have the one I am currently going to shoot, and then nothing else. Isn’t that- that would ruin me. It took me two years to shoot five dramas, and they’re all going to air in the same year. So then I was thinking I should probably accept another drama for the later half of the year, and then at least I would have two dramas as backup. That seems a little more rational, to me. LYN: In this industry if you don’t show up in front of people, you’re likely to be forgotten. So you have to think your plans through.

C: Ning-ge, you were sitting next to rappers at the Weibo Music Awards. Did you make friends with any of them? LYN: I didn’t really speak with them all that much. I only spoke to GAI, who was sitting next to me, briefly. I didn’t really get to converse with any others. Other people are up on stage performing, and you want me to sit in the audience making friends? That’s no good. LYN: When I went initially I didn’t feel much, but later I started to feel like a monkey. I don’t really like people to see me when I am vulnerable- it’s not because I want to save face or because of my idol burden- I don’t have such a burden. I just don’t like people to see me in such a poor state. Everyone else there is wearing nice suits and pretty gowns and I’m over there in a wheelchair. I’m just cruising around in my electric wheelchair, and every artist who sees me stops me to ask what’s wrong. I say, “It’s nothing. I just broke my foot while filming. It’ll be fine in a couple months.” And when I turn around it’s someone else asking me what’s wrong. It was a weird situation, because we’re all here at a MUSIC awards ceremony. I go, and I’m telling them I got hurt while ACTING. LYN: What am I (singer or actor)?? If I said I got hurt while holding a concert, it wouldn’t be as strange. But here I am at a music awards ceremony, surrounded by singers, telling them I hurt myself while acting. That’s strange. The second thing is- everyone is looking at me, and they see me and they’re very polite- wishing I recover soon. The third thing is my own projection- how must they see me? “How much did this kid want to attend this awards ceremony, that he comes even with a broken foot?? You’re already in this state. You should be home resting, what are you doing here??? How narcissistic are you, that you have to come here and bask in the honor of receiving your award?” That was just too awkward/embarrassing.

- /Daimi is barking/ LYN: ... What do you want?! LYN: She’s outside. I’ll let her in later.

C: Ning-ge, you make the boot look so fashionable. LYN: What are you talking about? But also- my old fans all know- no matter what I do/buy it has to be the best. I’ve always thought that I even if I am not that skilled, I should have the best equipment to make up for what I lack. For example, when I was learning how to play the guitar, I bought an expensive one... even though I can’t play it. Even if I broke a bone, I bought so much equipment for it. My friend sent me a chair you can sit in, in the bath. I also have these.. crutches... that you can set your elbows on, like a walker/frame- my friend sent me this, too. I have crutches (under the armpit)- two sets. The first set was a little short, it came from the hospital and did not match with my physique. At the longest extension it only reached my waist. So I went online and bought another pair- it can extend all the way to 2m, so it’s enough for me. I also have a wheelchair, two actually. When I first broke the bone I had bought a wheelchair, but after using it for a bit I didn’t like how it felt. When I was on set and my bros were pushing me around it felt like a struggle. So I went online and bought another one- an expensive one, for 3,000+ RMB. The frame was lighter and the wheels better, so it felt more convenient for me to get around set with. And then, I have to go out, right? I didn’t want someone to have to push me because I’d look really miserable, so I got an electric wheelchair. LYN: Then, I have this on my foot. When I was at the hospital, the doctor gave me this boot and I spent 600RB on it. After it was on... I thought it was cool. XD I was wondering if there was any talented individual online who had this boot, but made it look like Iron Man’s boot or something? So I went online to search if there was anyone with this creativity and sense of fashion. It’d be cool and it would protect my foot/leg- I wouldn’t need to feel embarrassed for the Spring Night Galas. I was searching and then discovered a problem. This boot that I have on, the hospital sold to me for 600RMB. Online, it’s 149RMB. I had a mental break. Suddenly I felt as if this thing wasn’t as reliable as I first thought it was. If it was 600RMB and could guarantee the safety of my leg I wouldn’t complain, but it’s so cheap I could just go online and find a better one! But there wasn’t any Iron Man boot. So I was searching and found something online for 500+RMB... if that’s the case I’m sure the hospital would have sold it to me for 1000+RMB, right? Anyway, I bought it... but it wasn’t comfortable. It’s sitting over there, like new. So what could I do... I went back to the original one I got from the hospital. But this thing, wearing it every day, it gets dirty. Also, you know, your foot’s bundled up in it, so... (it smells). There’s no way to wash it, because if I do I wouldn’t be able to use it the next day, and I need it to get to work. I can’t wash this one, so I thought of getting a replacement so I could use them interchangeably. I looked online... and that’s how I have the one I’m wearing now. This is the brand that all the big athletes use when they get injured. The imported brands, you know? So I thought it would suffice and I bought it. I’m full-up on equipment. I even bought a single forearm crutch, the kind that old folks use. And then... I bought the wrong thing. Everyone, crutches are categorized into left-handed and right-handed support. I don’t know if you buy crutches, but they’re separated by left or right. So, my right foot is hurt and I bought the right-handed crutch, to make my hand work in place of my foot. But when I got back it was then that I realized that if it’s my right leg that’s hurt I should have gotten the crutch for the left hand. I bought the wrong one, and I haven’t returned it. It’s just taking up space in my house, now. Later when I’m fully healed I’ll take all this equipment and raffle it off to you. Friends, when that time arrives, you have to come and participate.

C: Ning-ge, talk about the purple thermals. LYN: What’s there to talk about? They’re just purple. That’s normal. In Dongbei we have all sorts of colors. Usually when I’m shooting a drama, I’ll be wearing the character’s wardrobe. But for some time prior to that I kept recording douyin videos- I mean videos to upload to weibo, right? The drama’s pr department asked me if I could stop wearing the drama wardrobe, because I had been essentially leaking the look. Paparazzi are one thing, since it’s taken without our permission, but we can’t actively reveal the details ourselves. I thought that logic was sound, so I respected their request. So when I recorded that video I had taken off the robes and was wearing the purple thermals underneath.  C: Did you get them from HZT? LYN: Yeah. // No, really though. That was just a coincidence. I didn’t even learn about it until after I had uploaded the video.

LYN: Wait for me a sec, I want to change my cup. Or, let me go wash this one. Hold on. I’ll play you a video. Let me go wash my cup. It feels like it’s sticking in my throat. So there it is- I’ve found the reason why m voice sounds different! It’s because this thing (coconut milk) is sticking in my throat. Wait for me; I’ll wash my cup. LYN: I’m back! C: Drink less soft drinks. LYN: This is sugar free.

C: Ning-shushu (uncle), I start school on the 30th. LYN: Who are you calling “uncle”?? Even if you call me that, I’m still not giving you any money. School starts on the 30th? Then, study well. That way when you leave the house you’ll have learned how to interact with people and the ways of the world. School may not be able to teach you these things but your Uncle Ning can- worldly wisdom. When you see someone who obviously looks much older than you, first call them “ge” or “jie”. When they start to seem annoyed, then you can change to calling them something else. Whenever I see a woman who is older than me- I don’t care by how much- I always call them “jie”. If they are slightly older, I will call her “da jie”; if they are just normally older than me, I just call her “jie”. LYN: They’re all “jie” to me, because I used to be in the customer service industry. I was a waiter at a restaurant, and then later a clerk in a clothing store. You can think about it- if you have a group of older customers walk into your shop, are you going to say, “Hey, Uncle. What will you be having today?” If it’s a woman- “Auntie, what will you have today?” You’re going to make them lose their appetite! Do you get it? They’re going to lose their appetite, turn and find a different establishment. When I was working in the clothing shop and a woman comes in, do you think I would say, “Hello, Auntie. What type of clothing were you looking to buy today?” Do you think she would buy anything from me? I must be crazy. You’re in school now, so I completely understand why you don’t have this etiquette, but you must understand how the world works. If a woman walks in, no matter how old she looks, you say, “Jie, what type of clothing are you looking for today? Jie, you look to be in good spirits! Jie, try this one- I guarantee it will make you look slim. With an aura like yours, only you could pull off this color. Really, jie. It’ll look so good on you. It’s really nice. Why don’t you buy it?” See- this is worldly wisdom. C: What if they’re younger than you? LYN: Then I don’t call them by any title. Do you think, if someone younger than me walked in, I would say, “Meimei, what are you looking at today~?” No way. Also, I don’t like to call anyone “美女 (mei nu)” (beauty/pretty lady). People who are trying to sell you clothes will often call you “pretty lady”- I have never called anyone that. It’s too difficult for me. I don’t call them any title, but use “您 (nin)” (polite form of “you”). We’re on equal footing- I don’t need to make myself any lower than them. -- C: Meimei is watching you today. LYN: Go on, then. -- C: Call them “Miss/Lady (小姐)”. LYN: I don’t like that either. Other people can use that term as they like, but for me it seems improper. If I were younger I could call someone “Young Lady”, but I’m so old and for me to call a young girl “young lady”?? What do I want?? C: Call her “Old Miss (老妹)”. LYN: I don’t think anyone would use that, right? It’s like this- “老妹” is used as a more casual term, but as someone who has to represent the shop, we have to- to some extent- raise the profile of the shop. If you call someone “老妹”, it’ll be like they came into our shop to buy a cotton-padded jacket. It feels like, “Hey, sis. Come into my shop- take a look at the cotton-padded jackets and thermals.” So if you are a salesperson, you have represent your brand and give it a higher profile- even if not by much. You just can’t let the profile fall (lower than that of the customer’s). So then in this case we would use the term “女士 (Madam/Ms.)”. You can take her to look at some furs. XD C: Then just call her “woman” (女人) LYN: LOL. Women can call each other that among themselves, but me- as a male- calling a female that... is extremely off-putting. I don’t think “woman” should come out of a man’s mouth. It feels like, “Woman. This is a notice, not up for discussion. Give me all of your information in three minutes.” “Woman, you’re playing with fire.” /laughs/ “Alright- you’ve got my attention.” // “Woman, you’re playing with fire, but you’ve successfully gained my attention. Have dinner with me tonight. This is a command, not a request.”

- /BGM: Mosaic Band’s 霓虹甜心 (Darling)/

LYN: I’m drinking a soft drink, not wine! Who would be crazy enough to drink wine on a live-stream? I’d be insane. My alcohol tolerance is already bad enough as is, I don’t want to drink and say the wrong thing. I already have to watch what I say. I’m having a soft drink; it’s sugar-free. 

C: Ning-ge, did you go to Li Gengxin’s salon for a haircut? LYN: I really did. I told you before, right? That I had gone to a place in Changsha for a haircut and it happened to be one of his shops? When he found out that I went, he sent me a (membership) card. I hadn’t finished using up the funds on it, so I went to exhaust them a little. I can’t waste his good intentions. C: How much money do you have left on it? LYN: Why, are you going to use it?? You want me to tell you the number and you’ll go get your hair washed? You’ll get a perm, using my card?? As if! “Woman, you’re dreaming. I suggest you end this line of thought early.” LYN: How would I know how much money is left on the card- where would I even look that up? Look- this is another part of worldly wisdom (人情世故) that you don’t understand. You really need someone like me in your life (to teach you these things). Someone gave you a (gift) card, and you turn around and look up how much money is on it?? Do you know how to conduct yourself?? No one does that. When you enter society and your coworker gives you a gift, PLEASE do not look up how much that gift cost them. Don’t do that, there’s really no need. It doesn’t have anything to do with how much the item costs. Someone gave that to you with their good intentions. Someone gives you a card, and you’re going to look up whether they gave you 1000RMB or 2000RMB? That’s very strange. Don’t look it up. Later on when I want to get a haircut and they tell me that there are no more funds left, all I’ll have to do it add more funds to it. End of story. C: I have to give them something back. // I’ll look it up secretly. LYN: A return gift? That’s okay, then. If you’re going to give something back, then you DO understand the concept of worldly wisdom. If you’re not going to give anything in return then don’t bother looking up the cost. If someone gives me a card, what am I going to do? The most is send them a box of strawberries. If your friend gives you something and you look up the price of it in order to give them back something of equal value, then that’s okay. If it’s a birthday present though, there’s no need.

C: Ning-ge, if you see my comment, make a “V”! LYN: Do our interactions have to be so strong, now? The participation is so intense?!

C: Ning-ge, I want to ask- is the boot that’s supporting your foot breezy? LYN: It’s fine. The air doesn’t really get through to it. Because it has to wrap around entirely- I don’t know if you’ve seen racing seats? If it wraps around the driver it’s safer. Or.. you know when you go snowboarding, you have snow boots- it’s like that. It has the same function, in that it does not allow your ankle to bend. It limits your movement up and down, left and right. You’ll know what this feels like if you’ve ever gone snowboarding before.

C: Ning-ge, have you seen my house’s remote control? LYN: /looks around/ I haven’t. For my part, I suggest your call the police. Make sure they catch who stole it.

C: Ning-ge, did you buy your “young king young boss” (YKYB) cap on your own? LYN: This brand is HZT’s, and someone is asking me if I took the initiative to buy it on my own? Do you think our relationship as friends is so terrible, that I need to go out and make this purchase? Of course it is great to go out and support his brand, but we’re pretty good in that when he has new products he will remember to send me something- like a cap or jacket.

--

C: Man, will you sing? LYN: Woman, what song would you like to hear. Tell me within three minutes.

C: Ning-ge, respect winter. LYN: I’m at home! I have an air conditioner, so I’m not really cold. If I were cold I would put something on. I’m alright. I’m not cold.

LYN: I discovered recently that my Ten album is up on QQ Music. That was my first album. Friends, if you have time you can go on QQ and listen to it. It’s a very nice album. Let me look it up. I’ll see if there’s any song I can sing. 

LYN: I’ll sing one of my own songs. It’s called “A Ray of Light in the Darkness”. I hope that this year everyone can meet their “light”. Be your own light. - 黑夜的一束光 (A Ray of Light in the Darkness/Praying) LYN: Another! What should I sing? These are all songs on my first album... // I’ll sing this for you. This song is called “Contrary” (lit. = “Obviously”). - 明明 (Obviously/Contrary)

C: Man, you’re playing with fire. LYN: /chuckles/ Alright, then. You sure do learn things from my stream, don’t you? Even though this thing is not useful at all, but you sure can follow along.

LYN: Did I not sing some of the lyrics properly? Then that just proves that I’m really singing. Sometimes when you see my performances and I make a mistake in the lyrics, I do it to prove that I’m actually singing live. Even though I sing just averagely without proving myself, I still need to prove it.

C: Will there be a Carnation Music Festival this year? LYN: Yes. I had big plans for this. I wanted to make a home-style music festival. It would be at my house and I would call a bunch of instrumentalists over. I would hold a little concert in my house and stream it to weibo. It’s just that the problem was that there were too many things going on before the new year. I was thinking of doing it on January 8th, for my birthday. But then... then I had too many scenes to shoot for YNGS. I thought I had better focus on my acting. If I can, I still want to make it happen this year. When my foot’s better too, I need to take you to Shanghai Disney for a stream. I’ll give back everything I owe you. C: Look at this pie! LYN: I see a lot of you are commenting that I’m drawing another pie, that you have too many of my pies in your fridge already and that they’re starting not to fit. XD BUT! If I give you enough pies, then at least SOME of them have to come true, right? We can make it happen. LYN: “Man, you’re making empty promises again.”

C: Ning-ge, can I bring my baby? LYN: ?! Wh- which part are you referring to? I was talking about two things earlier: one was the concert in my house- you don’t need to bring your baby for that. You can watch that from the comfort of your own home, just watch my stream from your phone. The second thing was the Disney stream, and by that I didn’t mean that I was going to (physically) bring fans to the park to play. I meant I was going to stream myself- which you can watch from your phone. You can watch it with your baby, though. My stream does not contain any adult/illegal content. People 18 years and under can still watch my stream. You can watch it with your baby, that’s okay.

--

C: Have you heard any news about ALZ? LYN: I’ve really got to hand it to you. Of course, I know you all ask because you’re interested in me, and at the very least you know that I am a part of the drama. But, I still have to say: I don’t know if you’re my fan or not- but as an actor, I really don’t know much more than you do. That is- I don’t know. I don’t know when it will air. I can tell you that I’ve already finished recording the OST and I’ve finished my voice-acting for it; I’ve even gone in for some post-editing OS. My part is done. As an actor, I’ve finished my job. But on this same note, taking all this into consideration, my guess is that it should be airing soon. I can’t say for sure though because again, my part is done. From my past experience, after the OST and voice-acting are finished, the air date is not long after. C: Ning-ge, what’s the difference between OS and OST? LYN: They’re two different things. OS (voice-over/narration) is- for example if you’re watching a drama and in this scene a lone person is sitting with a letter in front of them. They pick up the letter and at this moment, there’s a voice: “Hello, Liu Yuning. By the time you see this letter, I will have already left.” This sound is called the OS- the sound you hear in the background.

--

C: Ning-ge, it’s Hei Ye’s birthday. LYN: It’s Hei Yanjing’s birthday today? I can’t represent this role- and people online have been saying this too. I’ve only had the honor of being a part of this role, to bring him to life a little, but I can’t say that I /AM/ him. I’m not worthy. LYN: I said I wasn’t worthy and some people are saying, “You’re right.” /laughs the pain away/ ARE YOU REALLY MY FANS?? You can choose not to say anything at all, just don’t reply. I said I was honored to be a part of this character but I wasn’t worthy of representing the role and people agreed with me. Just don’t say anything at all. LYN: You all are brutally honest, aren’t you.

C: Ning-ge, sing 冥冥有声 (Ming Ming You Sheng). This is an order. LYN: You mean it’s Hei Ye’s birthday today, so you want me to sing a song, is that it? If it’s my birthday, shouldn’t someone else be singing for ME? Or is it because I said I wasn’t worthy? Didn’t I already sing it earlier-  你是黑夜的一束光 (you are a ray of light in the night) --> 你是黑爷的一束光 (you are Hei Ye’s ray of light).

LYN: Let me see if there’s the accompaniment for it. - /searching for the track but finds that QQ doesn’t have it and the other site does not have copyright/ LYN: Where’s the copyright for it?? This is strange, what’s happening. They won’t let me listen to the song. Sorry, friends. I was going to sing it for you but it’s just not in the stars. They won’t let it play. Really. How terrible. I don’t know how this happened. I guess something happened with the copyright- it’s not important. I can play the MV... C: It’s because you’re not a member. LYN: 去你的! Friends, you don’t know but my Kugou Music account will be open until I’m 90. If I can’t live until then, it will be passed down. My old friends all know that I’ll have it until I’m 90- that’s how much I love music. But there’s nothing I can do for this situation. I really did want to sing it for you.

C: Sing it without accompaniment. LYN: /laughs/ You’re like my second aunt. C: Ning-ge, you’re a singer aren’t you? Sing it without accompaniment. LYN: Let me see if I have it on my computer. But I’ve changed it recently- this one is not the same one as before- so I don’t know if I do, but I used to. // I don’t have it. I really wanted to sing this for you, but I can’t. I know I have the track on a USB; I’ll have one of my staff bring it to me. Let me ask.  LYN: Alright, then I won’t sing it. Maybe next time.

LYN: Let me use the restroom and I’ll come back and continue chatting with you. Wait for me, three minutes.

--- break #1

C: Ning-ge, you’re so funny when speaking the Northeastern Dialect. LYN: Actually, I can speak Standard Mandarin- I speak it when I’m filming don’t I?

- /flaps his hand to prove he’s washed them/ C: Man- have you washed your hands. LYN: Woman, you’re playing with fire. What business is it of yours if I’ve washed my hands or not? LYN: Are we role-playing a dominating CEO now? You’ll find that all dominating CEOs have to have a rising tone. /showing the difference between normal speaking tone and lowered tone/ Once you raise the intonation you’ll feel like it’s dominating. You can’t only think of the lines (but also the execution). /demonstrates again/ Do you know why this is? It’s because it comes across as a sort of command. It feels like the everyone in the world owes you something. -/playing around with it more/

C: Ning-ge, did you sing the OST for Chong Zhi? LYN: Of course. Chaoyue gave me the opportunity, didn’t she? Then as a return gift, I sent her a box of strawberries. In order to show my gratitude. LYN: The song is really nice, though. I heard the demo and thought it was really good. You can look forward to it. // I’ve sung quite a few OSTs lately- all of the dramas are quite good as well. LYN: If I had a small wish for this year it’s that one of my drama OSTs can make it big this year, too. I’ve found out that my own songs aren’t really popular, but my OSTs don’t do too bad. I have a few popular ones- Rang Jiu, I don’t even need to mention. Of course I know that the song is popular, not me. I’m only the singer- the song was good to begin with. There’s Rang Jiu, and then the year before last was Tian Wen. Last year was Searching for You. My OSTs tend to be more popular. For OSTs, as long as the drama does well, the soundtrack won’t rate too badly. - /also mentions Fireworks and Stars, Colored Glass, A Dream of Splendor/ LYN: For this year I’ve sung for Chong Zhi and ALZ... I’ve sung for mostly good dramas, up until now. Let’s all look forward to when those air. C: What about Zi Chuan? LYN: I sang for ZC, of course. Anything I’ve been in, I’ve pretty much all sung for.

C: Ning-ge, I haven’t finished my homework yet and school is about to start. LYN: Get working, then. But isn’t it early for school? Doesn’t it start in March? Do your homework.

LYN: Am I trending? “Woman- am I trending?” “Really?” “Oh, my goodness. How unbelievable.” “I never thought a day like this would come for me, LYN.” LYN: Someone had asked me before, if I had an English name. I didn’t, really. My English name is “LYN”- shorthand for “Liu Yu Ning”. Then... I’ll be “LYN” (pronounced: li-en). LYN: In the Entertainment tab? /this is not a .jpg/ What’s wrong with that?? // That’s okay, too. It’s alright, it doesn’t matter. I’m happy to be trending at all, given it’s the new year.

C: Ning-ge, have you fallen into a role? LYN: No, sometimes I just like to imitate other’s voice acting productions. Just playing around with it. A long time ago- do you remember, I went on a variety show called My Brilliant Masters? We went around to a lot of amazing seniors. At the time I had only just started acting- I was shooting my second drama- I think it was around the time I was filming for Ultimate Note. I forget. We went around to a lot of different laoshi, and one of them was Wang Gang. He’s an amazing actor, you know? So I asked him, what did I need to do if I wanted to be a good actor? They’re seniors in the industry, so I asked for advice. We talked for a long time and he told me a lot. But there’s one thing that I remember the clearest. He told me, “As an actor, the script is the most important. As long as your lines are good, your acting will not be bad.” That’s what he told me, and since then I’ve spent a little more effort on my lines. I came to enjoy it. He told me he was working at a broadcasting station, and every night he would tell a story- that’s how he practiced reciting his lines. That’s why when you watch him, his lines sound so great. It came from those years of experience for him. That’s why I came to like voice-acting. LYN: I’m still not good enough yet. I still have to practice. Standard Mandarin is the first hurdle. My Standard is not that great yet. After that it’s even more complicated things. The only thing I can do for now is to voice-act for myself, and take it slow. His is one of my more favorite stories.

C: Ning-ge, you’re making an EP with five friends? LYN: You all saw that interview, huh? I really am planning on making one with five friends. But I’ve only thought of four so far. I want to make an EP with five friends... but I think this project will be long in the making. I haven’t even found enough songs for my own album, let alone finding songs I can sing with others. I’ve already discussed it though, and reached out to five friends. You know I only have so many. I’ll collab with them and make five songs. I think we can do it. C: Which five friends? LYN: I only have so many, you can ponder on this yourselves. I only have so many. LYN: Right now, releasing a song means having to pay money (not make money). So I just want to make something for fun. It’s not for the money. I just want to do something fun with my friends and leave something behind that you all can listen to. It’s not to make any money, this is a losing venture. This is the reason why singers don’t release albums- it costs too much money. Singers used to make money by... forget it, I won’t tell you.

C: Ning-ge, I’m also your friend. LYN: Right. I always say that my fans are my friends. So by this you mean that you want to make a song with me? It’s not impossible. We can do it. How about this. You don’t have to sing, I’ll just add your name to the credits. You can pretend that your voice is in there, but you don’t have to sing. I’ll add in your name. C: We’re your friends from all over the world. ( 五湖四海 = five river and four seas) LYN: That’s right. In my next song I’ll have it down as “Singers: Liu Yuning & LYN’s Fans from All Over the World”. I’ll put your name down, and you can brag to your family about it. “Look mom, I collaborated with LYN on a song!” And when she asks you which word you sang, you can tell her it’s not important. “I’m the sound of the guitar.” XD

C: Ning-ge, what should I do if I don’t want to get out of bed? LYN: You must be sick! You’re going to come ask me about any mundane thing now?? I can’t cure you. What should you do if you can’t get out of bed? Go to sleep earlier. If you go to sleep earlier, you would be able to get out of bed easier. If you’re sleeping 12 hours a day I don’t believe you would still be able to stay in it. Go to bed earlier- if you don’t have enough sleep you won’t even be able to lie down, then you’ll just get up again. Don’t stay up at night.

C: Is TXJ going to air soon? LYN: That will be slower to air. It’s still early for that one, because I haven’t finished my voice acting for it yet. I owe them so much work... The other time I went I only did five episodes, because I just so happened to be there for work on ALZ. After I finished up with ALZ I still had some time so I asked if I could work on TXJ a little. I finished five episodes. There are... still a lot to go. Let’s not rush.

C: Is your foot alright now? LYN: It’s not healed yet, not that quickly. It’ll take at least another month and a half. In another month and a half I’ll try walking on it normally. I’ve also discussed with the drama director, if we could arrange all of the fight scenes for later so we can shoot those when my foot is better. I was given the ‘OK’ for that, so we’ll just shoot the lighter scenes to begin with. Guzhuang dramas can’t really do without any fight scenes, though. They always fight. It could be a lot of fighting or a little, but they always fight. My best role was Luo Mingxi’s (ALZ)- he was a scholar, and couldn’t do martial arts. The whole drama he didn’t have a single fight scene. I was so happy, to be in a guzhuang where I didn’t have to fight. 

--

LYN: I’ve been shooting dramas for a few years now and as time goes by I’ve realized that I really didn’t respect my own appearance before. Before, and even when I was doing the voice acting for ALZ, I was thinking, why was I so... how should I say this... so lax with myself. Even with Heroes- you’ll find that in some scenes I look pretty handsome, I actually look pretty decent. But then in other scenes I look truly ugly. When I was watching ALZ (while voice acting for his scenes) I even had that impression of myself. I look good in one scene, but ugly in another. So then I was wondering how this happened- why does it happen and when? It really has to do with your own condition that day. For example if you wake up in the morning after having stayed up all night you’ll have dark circles and be puffy from fluid retention. Your jawline won’t be as prominent. Through the camera this all looks even worse- it emphasizes your flaws. I keep saying I was swollen, but the truth of it is I had eaten too much (read: he was fat). LYN: As an actor, you can’t really show yourself in a healthy state. That’s my own personal opinion. If you want to be on camera and look pretty and refined, you really have to show yourself in an unhealthy state. It makes you seem like you have a thin face and thin body, like you’re lacking in water. If you’re on the camera glowing and healthy, then you tend to look a little plump through the lens. It’s terrible.

LYN: At the time I was “swollen” every day. I forget who told me- a way to remedy this was to tie my ears with a rubber band. That if I held my ears it would lessen the water retention. Have you heard of such a method? There are all sorts of artists’ rumored beauty tips. So I tied my ears, every day, so much so that I thought that my ears would fall off! But did it work? It actually did. Let me tell you why- I’ve thought about the reasoning behind it. LYN: It’s because when there’s a band on your ears it has the effect of making your face look slimmer. Watch. /demonstrates/ It makes your face look slimmer because it’s lifting your skin a little. Since you’re tying it fairly tight it lifts the skin, and then you think it’s working because your face looks thinner. But this is extremely temporary. After some extent it won’t work anymore. You’ll be fat either way. LYN: That’s why for Ning Yuanzhou I really have to thank all the people who complained that I was ugly in the early days of filming. I thank them, truly. From the first day of filming there were people complaining that I was ugly. They cursed at me daily, as if I had never appeared in this capacity as an actor, or on a variety show, or had ever attended a gala, or had EVER shown my face outside of this one acting appearance before. It’s as if they had never met me. Like, “Wow, it turns out that LYN was THIS ugly??” So I thank these small friends for cursing at me, because their constant cursing made me hyper-vigilant. When I got to the makeup room in the morning, I would first put on a hydrating face mask and then follow-up by massaging (with a roller) my face. First make it big. Then, follow that up with a scraper, and watch the water retention slip away. After that, a cooling eye mask- to reduce the swelling of my eyes. After all this, twenty minutes have passed and the wig application is pretty much finished, so they can then start applying the makeup. For the first twenty minutes of every day, I went through this routine: massage for 10, scrape for 5, and cool for 5. C: Did it work? LYN: I don’t dare to say that it did. You can watch the video later on and let me know. Of course, there were some times that I was lazy. When YNGS airs, if you think Ning-ge looks handsome for this episode, and this scene, then you can be sure that I scraped my face in the morning. If in some other scene his face is lacking, then he was lazy that day. You can use this method to tell the difference.

--

LYN: I really want to thank those who cursed at me, from the bottom of my heart. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have felt so wary. I would have continued thinking, “An actor is an actor- the performance is what matters.” But the appearance... if I am comparing with others then there is always going to be someone out there better looking. Also, there are so many good looking people online and people say even THEY’RE ugly. So I thank these people for making me focus on my own appearance- not only in the drama. If I hadn’t experienced this for myself, I would not have had this growth, and would have continued on in my lackadaisical ways. C: Will you get angry if I curse at you now? LYN: What’s there to be angry about. People have already cursed me out, you came too late.

LYN: Also, do you know why I’ve debuted for almost four years and in those years have not really had a break? I’ve never said I wanted a break or that I would take two months off to rest. I have never said I wanted that. Even when the pandemic first started, I just entered into a drama crew. That was when I was shooting for The Long Ballad. Why (have I never taken a break)? It’s to thank those people who cursed at me. (t/n: Out of spite, you mean? XD) From the very first day, when I said I was a singer and they didn’t think I was worthy, until the day I started acting and they said I wasn’t worthy. It’s because they cursed at me and looked down on me, that I have the determination to keep moving forwards and upwards. These four years.. have gone by awfully quick.  LYN: If it were just my fans buttering me up every day- telling me I that I’m the best and the most handsome, that my acting is superb and my singing is great- if it were just my fans complimenting me all the time, I’m sure I would have drifted. I would be out there playing around instead. Why would I still be filming, when my foot is broken? Right? So I thank the haters. If they hadn’t told me I wasn’t worthy, I wouldn’t have had the strength to keep fighting without a rest. I haven’t taken a rest- you all know this.

C: Then, should we (fans) leave? The fans’ compliments aren’t important? LYN: That’s not what I meant. I’m sure if I ONLY had antis cursing at me I would have lost my mind by now. This is just like life- you can’t have shitty days ALL THE TIME, right? Let’s say you like to eat sweets. But if you add in something bitter every once in a while, you will appreciate the sweetness all the more. Right? You can’t only eat bitter things all the time! You would have thrown up, in that case. It’s like this. I really do want to thank my fans. If it weren’t for your encouragement and support, I would have had a breakdown in the face of all this hate. I’d have depression. It’s possible.  But it’s thanks to your encouragement, in hand with all the hate- that allows me to keep moving forward. LYN: I was thinking about this a couple days ago. I’m really thankful for all my fans, and I’m not just saying this. The great thing about you all is that you actually listen to what I say to you. When I tell you not to do this or that, you really do listen to me. You respect me. But because I’ve met fans that don’t listen, that makes me like you all the more. I’m grateful that I have you fas my fans. When I tell you something, you’re really willing to listen to me. Some fans don’t. They seriously, don’t. But you all respect me, and I appreciate it. Even my staff members, they think you’re all great. It’s because we have something to compare you with. LYN: Including when I’m at the airport, and I’ve told you to be conscious of being in a public space and not to come greet me, you listened. Or when I’m online and I’m trying to have a heart-to-heart and discuss something with you, you all know that I’m being serious. You all respect me. I think this is great. Because I respect all of you. If I have any news, I always tell you in the group chat. I hope that I can be transparent with you. If there’s something going on I want to be able to tell it to you straight; all you have to do is trust me. So, I’m really grateful for you.

LYN: In this industry, I don’t really have a competitor- because I’m not worthy of having one. I was chatting with a jiejie the other day, and she was wondering if there was anyone in this industry that overlapped with me. Someone that could be seen as my competitor. She didn’t think there was one. Because I’m not even in the same race track as everyone else. I stream, I sing, I act- there’s pretty much no one else out there doing all three. I don’t really have any competition, so I am a bit of a unique existence. But I don’t want to be like everyone else. I don’t want to interact with you all or work in this industry the same way as everyone else does. That’s why I wish for my fans to be different from everyone else’s as well. Let’s not carry any ill-intent. If there’s something that makes others happy, we can learn from it. But please, let us not become malicious. I don’t want us to become like them. If that happens, what will make us different? LYN: Also, I’ve been a cook!

- /sneezing/ LYN: Who’s talking smack about me? When I was little I heard the grown-ups say that if you sneeze twice in a row then that means someone is cursing you. I was being so honest with you, and you have the gall to curse at me?! What the heck... C: It means someone is thinking of you. LYN: THREE sneezes means someone is thinking of you. I remember hearing the elders said: 1 sneeze means someone mentioned you, 2 sneezes means someone is cursing you, 3 sneezes means someone is thinking of you. I think that’s how it went. C: Then, sneeze again. LYN: No~ LYN: “Woman, you’re playing with fire. I suggest you restrain yourself.”

C: Those are some feudal superstitions (foolish behavior, not backed by science; baidu) LYN: What are you- you’re trying to ruin me, is that it? Are you even my fan? This line of thinking makes you absolutely qualified to be an anti-fan; this ability of yours to take my words and twist them to a higher level of intellect in order to discredit me. I said that if you sneezed once then someone mentioned you, if you sneezed twice then someone is cursing you, and if you sneezed three times then someone is thinking of you. And then someone comes out and says, “Liu Yuning is spreading feudal superstitions during his livestream!” I think this burden might ruin me- what are you doing?? Stop trying me. LYN: I’m sure everyone is living under a lot of pressure nowadays. Be a little more tolerant. Don’t waste your energy. We can all live nicely. Work well. Study well. Live well. Treat people with kindness, because kindness begets kindness. Evil begets evil. Ill-intentions are always met with retribution. Is that also a feudal superstition? Kindness begets kindness and evil begets evil?

--

C: Ning-ge, is the beauty filter on? LYN: Of course it is. I’ll tell you honestly. It’s on. ... But not high. Normally when I stream I’ll turn on the options for blur and brightness. I don’t really turn on the other ones. Look at my eyes- they’re so small. They look especially small today because I don’t have any eye makeup. today I woke up and washed my face, and then came to stream. Okay, I didn’t wash my face- I put on some BB cream, and THEN came to stream.  C: It’s polite to turn on the beauty filter. LYN: Right! It’s the New Year and everyone is coming in to see me stream, so what point is there in showing a very haggard appearance? Freshening up is out of respect to my viewers. If someone on the street walked up to you and it was clear they didn’t shower in days... wouldn’t you feel disrespected? C: Givenchy’s foundation? LYN: Oh, my mistake. I put on some foundation earlier.

C: Ning-ge, you’re trending at #22. LYN: I don’t believe you. ~I don’t believe what you’re saying is real. Woman- don’t trick me. Well, since I’m already trending, then I’ll sing a song and see if I can climb up in the ranks at all. Let’s see if I can use music to make people stay. I’ll sing a song.~ C: Man- this is real. LYN: ~Oh~ Is it truly real? I don’t believe it.~ C: This man’s voice sounds like Siri. LYN: /Siri voice/ I’m here.

LYN: Hey Siri. Siri: Hm? LYN: Oh, I actually activated it. Hey, Siri. Siri: Hm? LYN: Happy New Year. Siri: Happy New Year. I hope in this new year you as as bright and alert as a rabbit. LYN: Thank you. // I just exchanged New Year’s greetings with Siri. LOL.

C: My mom is asking when you’re going to come over and spend the New Year. LYN: Have you tricked your mother and told her that I’m your boyfriend? Is that how it is? Let me tell you, try not to use this lie. Because, once Auntie sees a young kid like me, her expectations will be raised. Then later when you want to bring a REAL boyfriend home, she won’t like them. This lie is likely to influence your future marriage prospects, understand? Don’t do this. Don’t lie to your mother. Your mother will say, “This one isn’t as good as Xiao Ning was.” That’s no good, right? This influences your future. Don’t do this. Be honest. Just tell her I’m your idol. “A super idol’s smile is not as sweet as yours.” Just tell her straight that I’m your idol. C: Ning-ge, on this you’re so manly. So confident. LYN: That’s right, I am the legendary “Pu-Xin Nan”- the “most trustworthy man in all the world.” (普天之下最适合信任的男人) LYN: I am also the legendary “Ma-Bao Nan” (sounds like: Momma’s Boy, 妈宝男) = “Oh my goodness, a treasure boy!” (哎哟妈呀! 宝藏男孩.)

LYN: What song should I sing? I should sing something... // Let me sing this. This is a theme song made for the Palace Museum, sung by Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning. It’s called “Heritage.” I gift this song to each and every friend who is with me right now. - 传承 (Heritage)

LYN: I was trying to make a joke earlier, and some of you have taken it seriously and are calling me a “momma’s boy”. I said “Ma-Bao Nan” and by that I meant “Oh my goodness, a treasure boy!” But you totally missed the point. Friends, I’m currently trending right now. A lot of people are seeing that I am trending and may just so happen to click into the stream. But if you keep spamming “momma’s boy” in the comments, they’re going to think there’s some sort of story here. You’re going to make me infamous. They’re going to think there’s a story here and they’re going to start digging. What happens if they start liking me? :) Whose fault is that? Initially they liked a different artist, but because they wanted to get to know me in order to dig up some dirt they started liking me instead. How am I supposed to explain this to my friends in this industry? So that’s why we shouldn’t take jokes too far, alright??  C: Whose fault? Liu Yuning’s. LYN: XD C: What is a “pu-xin nan”? LYN: “The most trustworthy man in all the world.” 

C: What about “xia-tou nan”? LYN: “xia-tou nan?” (下头男) [t/n: opposite of addicting “上头”; so... “off-putting”?] That is.. “one of the many other no.1 men in the world.” C: “Xia-Tou-Nan” is the “man who cuts his hair downstairs”. LYN: Do you own a hair salon??? This friend must own a salon- they live on the second floor and the shop is on the first floor downstairs. I’m guessing this fan is a girl, and her husband is a hair dresser who cuts customers’ hair downstairs. She calls her husband a “xia-tou-nan”- the man who cuts hair downstairs. XD C: Cutting your hair in the first month of the year? LYN: What’s wrong with that? Are you not allowed to? You really want to spread feudal superstitions here in LYN’s livestream?!? I’ll leave you with this burden instead. What’s wrong with cutting your hair in the first month? Are you trying to spread superstitions? Please leave. XD

- [t/n: this type of word pun goes on for a couple more examples, but I don’t want to translate bc I don’t understand them and my brain hurts, lol. But basically they are trying to make him give ah... alternate meanings to some common (non-pg) expressions. Chinese semantics.]

C: Ning-ge, how did you know I lived in a villa. - [t/n: got to this topic tangentially from one of the previous examples of word play//explanation.] LYN: Are you trying to show off your wealth? I’ve met two types of people who do this. The first kind are doing it purely as a bluff. The second are the kind of people who may really have a villa at home, but are the type of person who are the target of multiple types of scammers. If you have a villa, I want you to be wary, because I’m sure that there is someone on weibo sending you a private message to click into some link as a ploy to steal your savings. Because they see you have power. Or, it could be someone who changes their name to “Liu Yuning” and will pretend to have a conversation with you under the guise that I am on a secondary account. Because, since you have a villa, it means that your family must have quite a bit of financial prowess. If someone called “Liu Yuning” adds you, and you ask them “Are you Liu Yuning?” and they say, “Yes. This is Ning-ge’s secondary account.” and they start having a conversation with you, don’t rush it. Three months later they’re going to start asking to borrow 200RMB from you. They’ll say, “Ning-ge is having some trouble, can you wire me 200?” At that time just take a moment to think. It doesn’t matter if this Ning-ge is real or fake, they still chatted with you for three months. If you were paying them a salary, I’m sure you would still give the 200RMB. So, just be careful not to get scammed.

--

C: Ning-ge, I’ve run out of guazi. LYN: You’ve watched my streams so much that you ran out of guazi? What, should I go out and but 2kg and send it to your house? I should go out and find guazi for you? Should I add in some peanuts, too?? LYN: You event ell me when you’ve run out of guazi... you’re really... Really treating me like your waiter.

C: Ning-ge, I feel like your neck is a little short. LYN: I’m a cook. Friends, you should know that my neck is short because I’m a mess cook. Big face and thick neck, makes me a cook. It matches up. [t/n: this is some other word play]

LYN: ! ... :O ... >.> ... <.< ... Friends, my neighbors are fighting. It’s the new year, it’s not worth it. Do you hear it? C: I hear it. LYN: I don’t even hear anything. You must be having auditory hallucinations. Get that checked out. But anyway, they’re really fighting. Let me go take a look. Maybe I can get them to stop fighting. This is no good. I’m going to go take a look.Wait for me a sec, don’t go anywhere. If you still haven’t subscribed to my weibo, please subscribe. I’ll play you a video. Wait for me. -- break #2 LYN: Wait for me a little bit longer, I forgot to grab a bottle of water. LYN: !! My computer froze. No way. LYN: Let me grab some water. -- break #2.5

LYN: Alright friends, cheers. Wait, no. This music isn’t right, I need something more elegant. We can cheers. Friends, get some water.  - /plays 祝酒歌 (Toast Song)/ C: Is this elegant? LYN: No. But I’ve had such a big glass of orange juice, can you all have mercy on me? Thanks. C: My dad said this song is from his generation. LYN: What are you saying, bro? We’re of all of the same generation. Next, I’ll sing you something from our generation. Uh... what songs are there from our generation. Um... let me think. C: Searching for You. LYN: A song from our generation is “Searching for You”?? No, it’s not. Er... let me think... This is from our generation. - 上海灘 (Shanghai Bund) LYN: That’s from our generation, right? Hehe. C: Your Cantonese is so good. LYN: Well if you’re going to say that, then I’ll sing another. - 千千阙歌 (Thousands of Songs) LYN: Oh, it’s so high. Let me lower the key an octave and see if I can pull it off. LYN: Now I sound like an old man singing. I can’t do it. - 倩女幽魂  (A Chinese Ghost Story) - /sings the first verse/ LYN: That’s enough. - /lip syncs badly to his own song instead/

C: My Cantonese is as good as yours. LYN: Well, I am from Dongbei... it’s still a bit of a distance to Guangdong.

--

C: Fake singing. Get out! LYN: Didn’t think there would be a day you would catch me lip syncing. Was it really so fake? Because the mic wasn’t even near my mouth? - /sings for real/ LYN: /sigh/ Lip syncing. Actually some people can make it look really real. Usually there are a few different kinds of lip syncing. The first is that you’re just moving your mouth. /demonstrates/ It looks fake, right? It’s actually not like this. There are other ways, one of which is: play the music, mute the mic, and sing for real. I’m still singing my part, but the mic isn’t picking up any audio. That’s one way to make it seem more real. /demonstrates/ C: You can still tell. LYN: Oh no. I can’t trick you anymore, in the future. C: I knew it was fake. LYN: Because you KNEW it was fake. C: Ning-ge, you didn’t mess up the lyrics. You must be lip syncing. LYN: If I didn’t sing it wrong then I must be faking. That’s true. There’s nothing wrong with that logic. LYN: No- it’s because the audio and video don’t quite match up, right now. Watch me speaking. It doesn’t quite match up with my lip movement because there’s a bit of a delay in the stream. All online streams have a bit of delay. It’s because mine is too HQ. My stream setting is high, so it takes bit longer to transmit. This is normal. 

--

LYN: Alright, I’m here to chat and sing a little. What time did I come today? Let me see how long I’ve been streaming for. 2 hours and 55 minutes. LYN: I saw they released statistics of my streaming for last year. I found out that ever since I started in the YNGS crew, there’s a big gap. My streaming time got short. I wasn’t quite awake enough. But it’s okay. It’s still early. It’s 9:44p. Be honest, guys, are you sleepy? If you’re sleepy then I’ll leave. Are you sleepy? It’s the second day of the new year! I want to wish you a happy new year. I hope you are all healthy and everything goes as you wish. It’s rare that you are able to take this time and spend it with your family. I’m going to enjoy this period of time as well, and then it’s back to the grind. C: What are you saying? I’m not sleepy. / High school late classes haven’t even let out yet. LYN: ?_? Are you serious. School is that hardcore now? You’re at school on the second day of the new year and late classes aren’t even over yet? Are you for real? Or are you talking on a normal day. You can’t mean right now, right?? LYN: Why don’t I believe you? I mean- it’s not that I don’t believe you, but... Oh! I see high school USUALLY lets out at 10p, but not today- the second day of the new year-, right? Normally- okay, I can understand. I was thinking you were going to be at school this late even today- that’s TOO miserable. It’s good that’s not the case. C: School starts on the 6th day of the new year. LYN: Students are under a lot of pressure, too. It’s like you’re going to work already. You are all the future of society. And, I always say this, because I didn’t go to college and I’m not that educated- but when you really enter into society and start working then you’re really going to cherish the time you spent in school. You’re going to cherish that forever. You may be thinking that it’s difficult to keep going, but once you get over it and you really start working then you’re going to miss the days you were in school. Cherish the time you have now, friends.

C: Ning-ge, you’re 30+ and haven’t had a break, no one is working as hard as you. LYN: I still take a break. But I’m working today. Originally, the crew had planned to start filming on the third day of the new year. But a few days before the new year they told us that we would start at the end of the month instead. In that case I have a few days to rest. It’s the 23rd today, so I still have two days.

C: I just noticed you’re wearing short sleeves. LYN: I have an air conditioner. I’m not cold. You don’t have to worry about me.

LYN: Some of you want to see my foot. My foot’s alright. It will still take a month and a half to heal. Thanks for worrying about me. I’m okay. And anyway, men fight, right? (爷们要战斗) I can do it. It’s just another month or so.

--

- /grabs Daimi/ LYN: A lot of you want to see Daimi. She hasn’t had a bath in a few days, so she looks a little messy. I didn’t want to let her on camera because she looks a little worse for wear. I wanted to preserve her artists image. Well, anyway. LYN: /to Daimi/ Greet everyone for the New Year.  - /delivering Daimi’s greetings/

LYN: Here, why don’t you sing? /tries some “ventriloquism”/ You sing so well! /continues/

C: Daimi only has eyes for you. LYN: Not so. You all just like to make everything sound so wonderful. Today, I’m going to have to burst that bubble. You like to make a lot of things so nice, but really my dog looks down on me. Of course I have a lot of people in my group and among them she is the closest to me- to her, I’m a one of a kind existence. But I used to have a rule. I used to have a dog, before- Youmi. This is Daimi. I wouldn’t let my dogs sleep on the bed. They can be in the house, but not on the bed. I used to think that a grown man petting a cat and hugging his dog wasn’t... I don’t know- wasn’t doing anything proper? Since I grew up with my grandparents- it’s an old way of thinking that I grew up with. So I didn’t hold or let my dogs sleep on the bed.. but not this one. I must be under her spell.  LYN: She’s pretty foolish; her IQ’s a little low but her EQ is high. Sometimes I grab her onto the bed, and then sleep with her. But not in the blankets- I’m in the blankets and I put her on top and pet her as I go to sleep. She has something against me. The longest shell stay is an hour, before she leaves. It used to be that I didn’t let my dogs on the bed. Now I have a dog that doesn’t WANT to be on the bed. She goes to her room; it must be more comfortable for her there than on my bed.

LYN: You can tell with one look into her eyes that she doesn’t have a high IQ. I’m not trying to diss her or make fun of her or anything. She’s just really cute. She doesn’t have those bad habits- like other dogs will chew on your shoes or rip things apart and break things- she doesn’t. If you GIVE her a shoe to chew on she doesn’t like it. She won’t chew on electrical wires, either. She’s just a really foolish puppy and doesn’t have any bad habits. LYN: But she does have one lately- and it’s that she likes to bark. She’s a little older than two now, and for the first year and a half I thought she was mute. She had never barked before. At most she would growl, but not bark. But in the recent year and a half she must have drifted. After she realized she was an artist she got spoiled. She barks every day. She barks at whoever’s at the door. Sometimes when I’m on set the director or other actors will come to see me- she barks at them. She used to be good, which is why I said her EQ is high. When I am filming sometimes a drama, company, or platform director will stop by and monitor. They’ll stop by and have a rest in my RV. She used to know her manners. If four people got on the car, she would greet whoever was the leader. For example, if four people got on the car and one of them was a woman from the company’s platform, very amazing... She’ll climb right into her lap! She’ll hug her leg and pretend to be cute. Normally they all like dogs so they indulge her. She’s such a good puppy. She’s helping me make connections! I’m guessing some of the jobs I even got were BECAUSE they liked her. She’ll greet all four but in the end she will go found the leader. C: She in estrus? LYN: But my dog is female, what would she be going around hugging people’s legs for?? LYN: Anyway, she’s not the same now. She barks at whoever comes. She doesn’t care about the platform or producers anymore. It’s gone to her head. XD Artists, man. I see in the past year and a half she’s becoming famous in her own right. She even has her own SuperTopic. So her attitude is changing. But the good thing is that she only barks and never tries to bite anyone. Sometimes she goes wild with barking and I think, “It’d be nice if you actually bit...”. Sometimes the person who comes will know her already, so they pick her up while she’s barking... and she continues to bark in their arms. Who is she barking at?? Maybe she’s barking at the outside? - /Daimi barks/ C: She heard you talking smack about her. LYN: I’ve ruined her reputation. Her market value is dropping. - /looks at Daimi on the floor... points at her./ LYN: What are you looking at??

LYN: She doesn’t even care when I call her name. So I call her something different. My dog has two names now. The first is “Daimi”. The second is “Want a sausage?” If I look at her and say “Want a sausage?” she’s so happy she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

--

C: Are you still going to stream next month? LYN: You’re already onto next month? I was planning to stream again this month.. You already want plans for next month??  LYN: If I’m not that busy with filming for this drama, I’ll go back to streaming how I did before. I used to so at least two-three streams a month, at the least. If I’m not too busy... but I will be busy at the start! Because I’m just entering the crew and need to get used to the character and read the script and things like that. I should be less busy later, though, When I’ve acclimated. It should be no problem.

C: Wasn’t filming going to start at the end of the month? LYN: Yeah, but I’ve got to make preparations before that. We have to do a script reading, set costuming and hair and makeup. There are lots of things to do. Just hair/makeup- I think last time for YNGS it took two days. I was trying on clothes for three. But I think that the look for YNGS- in my personal opinion- is the coolest I’ve looked of the drama’s I’ve shot in the past couple years. I think I look a bit more handsome in this than the others, because I’ve already told the producers to add some beauty filters for me. “I’m begging you. I’ll do really good in for my voice-acting, so please add in some post-editing for me.” C: Ning-ge, that’s not professional. LYN: No, you don’t get it. It’s because every drama edits in post-production anyway. If you think about my past dramas you’ll find that in any scene I am in the same frame as an actress I have a beauty filter. But when I’m in the same frame as an actor then it’s lacking. You can ponder on the reasoning for that yourselves. Isn’t it? Whenever I was in the same frame as an actor there was pretty much no filter, so I looked so terrible that it was hard to keep watching. But when I’m in the same frame as an actress there’s a filter. This time around I asked the production jiejie if she could add the filter whether I’m with a man or a woman. It doesn’t matter if I’m with an old guy or a great auntie, please add the filter for us all.  C: It looks more textured/realistic without it. LYN: You’re not wrong. ...But you must be an outsider. Where do you think “texture” comes from? Do you think it comes from not adding a beauty filter? As long as there’s no filter, there’s texture? Then, if I record something with my phone does it have texture or not? Having a filter and having texture have nothing to do with each other. Where does texture come from? One of you said it right. It comes from the Thermage. If your face looks good then anything looks textured. 

LYN: I didn’t know this before, but I recently realized that whether you look good or not is very important, for an actor. It’s not extremely important, but for a young actor I think it tends to be more important than most. I say this because... sometimes a person won’t need to do anything and they’re successful, because their face already captured my attention. That’s why I feel like it’s important to have good looks.  C: You’re good looking, too! LYN: I’m just average. In terms of appearance I’m really just average.

C: I went out to play for a bit and came back, but you’re still streaming. LYN: See? This is what it’s like to like LYN. It doesn’t matter if you go out and play, when you turn back I will be here waiting. Even if you go and move on to liking someone else- you can go out and play around- when you come back, I’ll still be here. How romantic is that?

C: Have you determined any variety shows for this year yet? LYN: No, I haven’t made a decision on any of them. Do you think this industry OWES me??? You think I have resources backing me?? Who do you think is pulling the strings in order to get me drama roles AND variety show appearances? Honestly, there are a lot of companies who want to make variety shows, but whether those shows can become come to fruition depends on whether or not they can find sponsors. If they can’t find sponsors, then they can’t make the show. If we had someone just throwing money at shows, we could definitely make them happen, but... now we’re just waiting for those money throwing bosses to show up in the first place.

C: Are you still streaming this month? LYN: Didn’t I just- I don’t know whether I’ll stream again this month or not. We’ll see. I’ll start to be busy again in a couple days. If I’m not too tired I’ll come to stream. It’s not like my stream is some big event that I have to prepare for. I just have to grab my computer and start a stream. At the most it will only cause me to waste a little foundation. XD It’s just that simple. It’s not as if I have any staff support- I don’t. There’s no one else here with me. My staff work well with me- when I’m streaming they’re either outside or not here at all. If there’s someone in the house with me, I can’t stream. I’ll be thinking of too many things. Streaming is easy for me. If I feel like it, I just get on my computer and start. It’ll only cost me in electricity. All it needs is one person and one dog, and we’re ready to go. C: Are you shy? LYN: It’s not that I’m shy, I just want a space where I am alone to stream. I’m just more relaxed that way.

C: Has Modern Brothers Liu Yuning Studio had a change in personnel lately? LYN: I’ve seen that too. They say I’ve changed staff, so they think I’m doing well for myself. Another thing they say is that the boss (himself) must have given year-end bonuses. Because I’ve done some photo shoots. It’s not that. I didn’t used to post any photos like this because I just don’t like taking them. I really don’t. They always tell me, “Boss, let’s take some photos” and I always tell them no. I find it bothersome. LYN: The new year, for example- I went to Jiangsu and sang three songs. 魔法药水 (You are my Magic), 笑红尘 (Laughing at the Mundane World), and 寻一个你 (Searching for You). I sang them all live. I know I’m a singer but singing three songs live had me panicking too! If I sang one wrong lyrics it would be live broadcast for everyone to see. Singing live is fine, but singing for a live broadcast makes me nervous too. If I sang badly just once it would just be out there, with no way to stop it. So all through that night I was really nervous. I was already nervous in the dressing room- my hands were ice cold and I was shaking. It’s not as serious as it sounds, but in any case I was a mess. This event only happen once a year, I didn’t want to embarrass myself on New Year’s, of all days. If I embarrass myself on the New Year it’s like embarrassing myself for two year’s worth of time. (the year going and the year coming). LYN: So I was nervous, and my staff were asking if they could shoot some photos. Previously, I would have said, “Let’s not take any photos. You’re making me more nervous than I need to be. I’m already THIS close to wetting myself, and you want to take photos?? Don’t bother me!” This includes other events, too- artists always take pre-carpet photos, right? I didn’t use to like those. First of all, it costs money and secondly, in order to take those photos I would need to get up an hour and half earlier than I would need to. Why would I take photos when I could use that time to lie down for a while- take a nap or watch a movie? For should I wake early to get into hair and makeup, and then to take pictures?? Taking photos is the thing I dislike the most. Why do you think my studio doesn’t have photos? It’s because I don’t want to take any. Some of you fans actually curse at my studio because of that. My staff are wronged for no reason. I’ve said this before as well- it’s just that /I/ don’t like taking the pictures. LYN: But this year I’ve had a bit of an epiphany. It’s just because I don’t have much to do this year. Rather, I haven’t shown my face outside ever since I entered into the YNGS crew. A lot of galas and events invited me, but I didn’t go. The truth is I’m afraid that my fans have seen too little of me. That’s why for these end of the year events I’ve tried to take pictures while I could. I’m thinking one year (since the last photo shoot) has been long enough. LYN: You may get the feeling that my studio has changed staff because it’s been too long since we posted photos. This time we went a little hard with it. It’s like starving you for half a month. I guarantee you’ll be happy with whatever I put in front of you. You’ll be full and satisfied.

LYN: Also, at Jiangsu I sang You are My Magic, right? Did you hear what other song we put in there? I sang a bit of 帶我去找夜生活 (Night Life. Take us to the Light). Did you watch it? I was watching the playback, and there was a comment saying, “Jiangsu is too unprofessional. This song is clearly You Are My Magic AND Night Life, but they only wrote the title of one. How unprofessional.” I was thinking, “Friend, you’re too naive.” If I had tacked the second song title on there, the performance might not have been able to air. You want Jiangsu Satellite TV to tell you that they are broadcasting a song called “Take me to find the Night Life”?? You have to take that into consideration, child. There are problems with that. LYN: Also, originally I was only planning on singing Magic, but after I heard it, I felt like it would fall a little flat because the second half of the song pretty much repeats the same verse. I asked them if we could add a song into the middle. They asked me which song, so I suggested another one of the band’s songs. Just stick it in there and be done with it. Jiangsu didn’t blink and eye, and spent a lot of money to buy the copyrights to just four lines of the additional song. And you still think they’re unprofessional?? Jiangsu is so good to me, really. They have never held back when it came to musical performances. C: Which four lines? - /doesn’t fall for the bait/

C: What about the camera shots? LYN: Now we’re on a different topic- I really don’t want to talk about this one. Let’s not. - [t/n: Fans of Liu Yuning and Zhang Yifan were fighting because LYN was singing Searching for You, his song, but the camera mostly focused on ZYF, who was featured as a dancer. LYN had to make a statement telling fans to delete their malicious comments about ZYF, and ZYF also stepped up to tell her fans not to fight with LYN’s.]

C: Which four lines? LYN: Just those four, you know. How does it go? - /plays the lines: If you have not yet slept; If I have not stopped chasing. If being sober is a crime, then I’ll take my oath and exchange it for a promise not to return./ - /prepares to sing it, suddenly stops/ LYN: Feels like I’m missing something if I don’t have my guitar. Let me get it. Everybody get hyped! -- 帶我去找夜生活 (Night Life. Take us to the Light)

C: Ning-ge, can you sing one of Wang Sulong’s songs? LYN: WSL’s copyrights are too intense. You can’t find accompaniments for his tracks anywhere online. I really would like to sing one, but there are no accompaniments so I can’t really sing them. There’s nothing I can do.

C: Any fun stories from the New Year’s galas? LYN: No? It was normal. Other than the fact that I was pretty nervous. The other thing I was nervous about was if I attended the event and then later got sick. Everything else was pretty normal.

C: Were you happy to sit next to Mao Buyi? LYN: Are you MBY’s fan?? You must be. That is- how happy would two friends be to sit together? That’s how happy we were. I’d just like to ask, how happy did you expect me to be? That’s normal too. Did I have to be happier because I’d seen a celebrity? LYN: It was pretty mystical too, though. He just happened to be wearing a long white coat. It was a windbreaker, but it just so happened to be white. From the back he really did look a lot like a doctor or nurse. He used to be a nurse, I think. Then my leg happens to be crippled. We went up on stage together- he with his white coat and me with my broken foot- and it looked like a doctor helping his patient. That was so strange, and purely coincidence. We didn’t discuss our outfits beforehand at all. Also, I didn’t know that we would be getting our awards together.

C: The sound is too loud. LYN: Which sound? Do you mean the music? Are you using headphones or are you just playing from your phone speakers? If you’re using speakers you might think it’s a little loud because of the noise. Wearing headphones is better. Here in my stream- look at those flashing lights back there. If I just had these in my house normally, would you think I were insane? I installed these lights to bring up the mood of my stream. The music and lights is to create the sense of atmosphere. The sound of the music is to give you the feeling like you are at a bar. Not only does it close the distance between us, it also serves to surround you with the mood. C: Ning-ge is this your study (book room)? LYN: I don’t read books. There is no “study” to speak of. This is a computer room. As a “pu-xin-nan” our houses don’t have book rooms. There are only computer rooms. 

C: Can minors watch Ning-ge’s stream? LYN: Yeah, just turn on your child-monitoring. You should be asking this question to your parents. I advise, if you are a minor, that you should have parental supervision while watching. Still, have a guardian watch you while you are watching my stream. First of all, though, I have my gifting options closed so you don’t have to worry about your child accidentally spending money here. Secondly, I don’t sell anything, so there are no ways that I can take advantage of you. My stream is here purely as a material benefit to you all. So when you turn on child-monitoring, if I happen to say something that happens to be sensitive, it will automatically censor me. For example, earlier I said that I sang a song called “Night Life. Take us to the Light” at Jiangsu TV- with the monitoring, minors can’t hear those words at all. Just turn the function on and you’ll be fine.

C: My mom doesn’t let me chase stars, so she doesn’t want me to watch at all. LYN: Then, then what can you do? If your mom doesn’t want you to chase stars, then don’t. Have you ever heard the song, “Listen to your mother. Don’t let her get hurt.”? ( 聽媽媽的話 | Listen to Mother’s Words) “I want to grow up quickly, so I can protect her.” If your mom doesn’t want you to chase stars then don’t, I guess. Don’t make it seem like we’re meeting up secretly behind her back. She doesn’t want you to chase stars, and yet here you are. That makes it seem like our relationship between idol and fan can’t be seen by the public.

C: My mom said you’re noisy. LYN: /sigh/ Yeah? What did you want me to turn on my stream and we would pray together (in silence)? Do you want to have a staring contest? Here, let me play some soothing music for you. LYN: ~Alright. Follow me as we breathe in deeply. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Until the end.~ LYN: You’d be sleepy in no time!

LYN: Oh, I almost forgot. Are you watching Choice Husband (择君记 | Ze Jun Ji) at all, friends? There’s a song in there... that I sang. I heard that this drama is pretty good, and it’s one of my good friend- Zhang Xueying- ‘s works. The first drama I shot, Hot Blooded Youth, I worked with her. I was just a little idiot at the time. She had already debuted and become a prominent actress way before that. She was a child actress. She was the first female actress I worked with and working with her was great. She took good care of me, being a rookie actor as I was. Even though I was old in age. But in front of her I was just a rookie actor, so she looked out for me. Anyway, this is her drama called Choice Husband and I have a song in it called 愿重逢 (Wish to Reunite). You can go listen- I mean, go watch it. -  愿重逢 (Wish to Reunite), Choice Husband OST C: You sang so well I feel emotional. LYN: Aiyo, that’s unlikely.

C: Heroes, Choice Husband, A New Life Begins, and A Dream of Splendor. LYN: I sang for them all, right? Thanks. You must not be my fan. LYN: /mocking himself/ “LYN, just stick to singing. Stop acting.” LYN: I should still act. I still have to act... C: Your acting-fans don’t accept (that you stop acting). LYN: I’ll act. I still have to. I’ve got some OSTs down for the next year, and if I have time I’ll still accept more drama roles. C: Singers should stick to singing. Stop acting. LYN: A lot of actors are starting to sing now too, though. Right? Be more tolerant. It’s the same. Whether you’re an actor or a singer, I think ability is a large part of it. Only when you have the ability to do something, should you do it. Not just tacking on useless titles.

C: It’s been so long since I watched one of your streams. LYN: Because I haven’t streamed in a long time. But it’s the new year now and I have some time to come stream. Mostly because I’m afraid you would miss me too much.

C: Ning-ge, you’re trending at #2. LYN: Stop saying nonsense. There’s no way I could be at #2. You must be subscribed to me, so you accidentally clicked on “my topics” and not “recommended”. I’ll believe you if you said I’m second among those you have subscribed to. Don’t mess around. You can’t even work weibo? LYN: I was trending earlier, but not now. There are so many people in the world, there’s no way I could be up there for so long. LYN (anti): LYN, I’m telling you, you should be happy that you are even qualified to be trending in the first place. Don’t be picky. It’s good enough that you were up there. Don’t get full of yourself. LYN: Thank you to everyone watching. You gave me a trending topic today. So if you haven’t subscribed to my weibo yet, please do so.

C: My mom wants me to go to bed at 11p. LYN: Why do you keep telling me what your mom wants? Do you think I can save you?? Earlier someone told me that their mother didn’t want them to chase stars. What could I say?? I told her not to chase stars. Now you’re telling me your mom wants you to sleep at 11p- do you think I can tell you NOT to go to sleep? If she wants you to sleep at 11p, then go sleep. If you’re sleepy, go to sleep. There’s still the playback. Just watch this tomorrow. There’s that song, right? Listen to Mother’s Words, don’t let her get hurt. You want to quickly grow up so that you can protect her. /continues reciting the lyrics/

C: My mom told me not to play with the opposite gender. LYN: Well, by that logic- I’m not playing with you. Who’s playing with you? Secondly, she probably means in real life? But it depends on what you’re playing. Normally, if you’re playing a game in school it should be fine. You mom probably just doesn’t want anyone bullying you. This is not an all-encompassing statement, though. You’ve got to find a husband eventually, right? She’s going to make you not like boys...

C: Is Chong Zhi going to air soon? LYN: Don’t ask me when a drama will be airing. I really don’t know. Honestly, I can ASK but there’s no real NEED to. Are you’re making me out to be a gossip blog and I should tell you whenever a drama is about to air? I remember I saw one that said ALZ would air in October of last year. Because the interest in ALZ is pretty high, right? So last year I saw a blog saying that they predict ALZ would air in October. I saw that and I wanted to punch them in the mouth. I wanted to say, “I haven’t even done my voice acting yet. X’D You say it’s going to air in October, you must be crazy!” They had just sent me the OST, and you’re telling me it’ll air in October?? LYN: It’s true that I recorded the OST fairly early. But I hadn’t done any of my voice acting yet. The gossip blogs aren’t accurate. For a lot of dramas whether it will air or not... /doesn’t continue/ C: When’s ALZ airing? LYN: I don’t know. It should be soon. 

LYN: The other day I was having dinner with my next director and they said to me, “Yesterday I saw some gossip online that said you have a drama with Jing Tian? It’s said to start in March? I took one look at our contract and said, “That’s fake news.”” Because in March I’ll be with HIS drama crew. LYN: I think of it like this- the fact that gossip blogs even deign to mention me means that they look highly upon me. Right? Let’s look at this from an objective standpoint. I’m not thinking of myself as an artist who’s all that- honestly speaking, I’m doing well for myself. The fact that gossip blogs are willing to mention my name mean that they look well upon me. By this, I mean in two aspects: 1) they think I’m good enough to participate in such an amazing project, or 2) they’re just mentioning me so that people can come curse at me, and that way their account will see traffic. That’s a second kind of recognition, but it’s recognition all the same.  LYN: That’s why I’m a “pu-xin-nan”- “the man most easily trusting of other people in all the world” (普天之下最容易相信别人的男人) C: They’re trying to ride off your tears. LYN: If think you were trying to type “fame” (liulang) but typed “tears” (liulei) instead. Also, I don’t have any fame

C: What’s your next drama? LYN: Don’t rush. You’ll know in the next couple of days. Then when the time comes, all you have to do is watch. C: Is it modern or historical? LYN: Guzhuang. C: The script is in for a big change. LYN: Why does the script have to change? Because my foot’s broken? No- it’s long been settled. They’re not going to change the script just for me. I’m not worthy of doing so. I can still shoot everything. I was still shooting for YNGS, even! For more than a month. It’s all the same. Even if you’re disabled you can still shoot dramas, still do fight scenes, still ride horses. It’s just that the horse can’t be running. For YNGS I had a few later shots that had to be done with the horse. I can get up onto it but since my foot has this on it- /shows his foot in its boot again/- this boot- we covered it a little with the clothes- but the problem is that I can’t put this foot into the stirrup. My left foot can go into it, but my right foot is just hanging. I can still ride slowly, but not gallop because for that you need both legs giving strength so you can control the horse. But anyway, I can still film all the same. I can still do the fight scenes, still do the wire-work. It’s not problem. I can still shoot the drama.

//

C: Does Daimi get any red envelopes? LYN: Daimi? No. But I gave her a lot of tasty things to eat. Yesterday I had dumplings and gave her two. It counts as having celebrated the new year. We had dumplings on the new year, too. Last night I felt a little hungry so I cooked more dumplings, and gave some to her. She doesn’t get red envelopes. She won’t know how to spend the money anyway. Little kids don’t know how to spend money. C: Can dogs EAT dumplings? LYN: In moderation. You just can’t feed it to them all the time. C: She’s not a “little kid” she’s a “little dog”.  LYN: Same difference. She’s still small. It’s just an expression, oh my goodness...

C: Are you male lead or second lead? LYN: Technically speaking I’m third male lead. I’m playing the male lead’s brother. I come out on screen... and then I immediately die in battle. That’s my situation... and then I can wrap up! But, this scene is so complex that I need four months to prepare for it. I have to work out how this character should die: every breath, every drop of blood, and how I should die. What words should I say before my death? All of those require months of preparation. C: He’s not taken away by aliens? LYN: Here’s the thing- I play the male lead’s brother and die on the battlefield in the first episode. After I die, I come back in the last episode on a UFO. Actually I’m not dead, I was just taken by aliens. I participated in an intergalactic war and after two battles I was brought back. I return in glory. C: What’s the book called? LYN: The book is called... “Fun Tales of an Alien and I”. Does this book have fans? LYN: “The Days I was Abducted by Aliens” is also a good name. This book has two names. It’s a good book. Look it up immediately, it’s the drama I’ll be shooting next.

C: Ning-ge, is that a Hogwarts pin? LYN: No, it’s Donald Duck. It says, “Get rich” *(发财). LYN: I hope that this year the group of friends watching my stream right now can all “get rich”.

LYN: I’ve been thinking of watching a movie lately. A lot of my friends said they went to watch a movie during the new year. I kind of want to watch The Wandering Earth II. Maybe when I have some time in the next couple days.

LYN: It’s about time, friends. Someone earlier said their mom wanted them to sleep at 11p. I guess they already went to sleep, then. It’s about time for me, too. I have’t eaten yet and so I need to make something to eat later.

C: Eating late night snacks isn’t healthy. LYN: Let’s discuss this topic of “late eating”. This friend says that eating late at night isn’t healthy, but there’s also a saying that goes “A man is not rich without external wealth, and a horse is not fat without night grass. (人无外财不富，马无夜草不肥) So from a certain aspect man and a horse are the same. Why are some people prone to being fat? Because they eat late night snacks. But if you say it’s not good (healthy)... I don’t agree. It depends on circumstance. For example, if you’re going to get abducted by aliens for it, that’s bad. But to me, as someone who lives on the Earth, who just woke up this afternoon, a “late night snack” is actually my “breakfast”. It’s my first meal, so it’s “breakfast”. Are you going to tell me that breakfast is bad for you?? This is reasonable, right? So we can’t say that late night snacks in and of themselves are bad, rather the TIME that you eat them determines whether they are good or bad. If I woke up this afternoon and still haven’t eaten, but you tell me that late night snacks are bad so I skip the meal and go straight back to sleep... I’d have gone a whole day without eating. Tell me, is not eating all day good for you or is eating late snacks good for you? LYN: If it were any other topic I wouldn’t chat with you about it. But since you brought up the topic of food I HAVE to chat about it, as a cook myself. I have officially learned for two years and worked for two years as a cook. So once you start talking food with me, I get excited because it has to do with my profession. If you were to try to talk to me about aliens I won’t try to carry the conversation. But as soon as you talk about eating and food I have to put a word in, because it’s my job. Also, us cooks have a course on Nutrition and Wellness. We have a book- though I didn’t read it- but I have it. But maybe because I have this book, I would know more about this topic than most. So I want to talk to you about it. I won’t argue about any other topic.

LYN: I’m thankful for everyone who is still here and who have watched my stream. If you still haven’t subscribed to my weibo please do so. You can come watch me the next time I stream. If you have time, of course. If you’ve got something going on, continue with your business. You can still subscribe, though. It’s not shameful. It’s not shameful to subscribe to Modern Brothers Liu Yuning’s weibo.  LYN: Thank you to everyone who kept me company tonight, even if you came and spent only a little bit of time. I’m grateful for your company. Let’s meet the next time there’s an opportunity, alright? I wish everyone a happy, relaxing, and wonderful night. It was great to have you and I’m happy you came. Let’s meet the next time. Good night, everyone~

[aeoki]

High and Low: At World’s End - Chapter 13

Location: Outside ES II Characters: Hajime, Midori, Shinobu, Yuuta & Hiiro

Season: Autumn Writer: Akira

< Early the next morning in front of the “ES II” entrance, right after “Late Departure Group 3” arrives. >

Hajime: Ahh…

I’m so worried, just so worried… Tomoya-kun and the others are okay, right?

They’re not injured, are they? They’re having proper meals, right? They’re getting enough sleep at night, right? They’re not in any sort of trouble, are they?

Please say it is so, Takamine-kuuun!

Midori: Yeah… They’re fine. They’re probably fine.

Hajime: “Probably” isn’t good enough~! Please tell me they’re ���definitely” fine!

Midori: Uhh, I can’t guarantee that… And if they’re actually not okay, then that’ll mean I’m lying and that’s way too much guilt for me to handle…

Hajime: Since you can’t guarantee that, that means things are looking bad for them, right? Does this mean I won’t be able to see Tomoya-kun and the others ever again? Uwaaaaah!

Yuuta: What on earth happened to Hajime-kun…?

Shinobu: Ahaha. Shino-dono is latched on to Midori-kun ~de gozaru ♪ Are you pretending to be a koala, Shino-dono?

Hiiro: Indeed. I thought Shino-kun had a more calm and relaxed personality.

One that watches over everyone warmly and tenderly like a mother.

I don’t really have many memories of my mother, so that’s just my guess. Mothers are usually written like that in books.

Yuuta: You don’t really remember your mother? Did she also pass away early like mine?

Hiiro: Indeed. I’m sure my older brother remembers what she was like, but I was a toddler who didn’t know anything about the world back then.

If I’m honest, I don’t even remember what she looked like.

Midori: Can you guys not talk about something so depressing right after arriving…?

It’s making me depressed. Makes me wanna die.

Hiiro: Indeed, I’m sorry. I’ll apologise if I made things gloomy.

I’m always like that. It’s a bad habit of mine.

Midori: That’s okay… I’m relieved Shinobu-kun and the rest of you guys got to Australia in one piece.

We’re getting a lot of stuff to do so we’re getting to the point where we can’t keep up… And Shino-kun gets more depressed as the days go by…

Hajime: That’s because I’m just so worried~! I haven’t gotten any news about Tomoya-kun and his group ever since that day!

Shinobu: I’m worried as well ~de gozaru… We were given a summary a little while ago, but actually, I got the gist of it after hearing Shino-dono rattling on and on about the situation.

Why are Tetora-kun and the others subjected to something like a punishment ~de gozaru?

Midori: We don’t know… We tried asking the staff at this “ES II” over and over.

But even though they’re also ES, no one knows about the happenings at the head office in Japan. Or more like, they’re not in a higher position to know stuff like that.

Hajime: Yes~... The staff at “ES II” were dispatched here sometime before and have been as busy as a bee in order to get things up and running.

It seems they hardly had any time to spare any attention to the head office.

Apparently, “ES II’s” priority is to firmly establish idol culture in Australia and doesn’t really know anything else.

Midori: Yeah… They did contact the ES in Japan for us.

But they responded with something like, “Just as it’s written in the proposal ES accepted, Tetora-kun and his group are just cast in a TV show, so there’s nothing to worry about~”

Hajime: Well, I suppose that’s true… It seems “High and Low” is an official project.

Hiiro: But according to what I’ve heard, Captain Nagumo and his group didn’t intend on being on that suspicious travel show, right?

Midori: Hmm… I smell a conspiracy…

Hiiro: Even if it is a conspiracy, why would anyone do such a thing?

Yuuta: …Well, we should try and look into the areas we’re curious about.

But putting that aside, we’ve got to fulfil our own work as well.

Hajime: That’s true too~... Uuu, you’re not worried about your older brother, Yuuta-kun?

Yuuta: Not really, he can basically survive anywhere.

Hajime: That’s not true, surely? Hinata-kun is a child the same age as you.

There's no way he’s not struggling after being tossed out to another country with little to no preparation, right?

He must be having such a difficult time. I think you’re a little heartless for not caring for your family member like that!

Yuuta: …Is he going to be rescued if I worry about him?

Hajime: That’s not what I’m saying but–

Yuuta: Do you think I’m really not worried about my brother?

Hajime: ………

Yuuta: But he’s really fine even if I don’t worry about him. He won’t ever abandon me, after all.

It’s just not possible. It’s always been like that and it’ll definitely be like that in the future, too.

Hajime: H-How can you be so sure? Is Hinata-kun an invincible hero or some kind of god?

Yuuta: A-Aniki’s always like that, so…

← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

[survey--s]

564.

Do you ever have days where you just don’t do anything? Ha, you’ve basically summed up all my days off. Walking dogs all day is surprisingly physical and I just feel like I need a complete break at the weekends. Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? Sure, I used to pull all-nighters regularly as a student - and never really for any particular reason either. What is your favorite episode of True Life, if you have one at all? I’ve never seen that show before. Have you ever experienced something paranormal? No. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic? About four hours, I think, on the way back from university one year.

Best field trip experience? Probably when I went to Paris with sixth form. Have you ever been to New York City? Nope, I’ve never been to America. If so, is it all its cracked up to be? .... What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? Personally, around £30 for one person, but for my 30th my dad took Mike and I to a really fancy restaurant where it was about £300 per person excluding drinks.

What museums have you visited, if any? Hundreds lol. Most of our holidays when I was younger centred around city breaks which meant lots of visits to churches and museums etc. Have you ever had a group project and one of your partners bailed on you? Sure. It’s one of the reasons I absolutely hate group work. What’s your worst traveling experience? Probably when we got delayed by 14 hours in Singapore after the plane had a mechanical fault and they had to fly a replacement aircraft in from Sydney. Sims 1, 2, or 3? Why? I liked the first one with all the expansion packs, but I think I kind of outgrew it by the time the 2nd and 3rd ones came out. I do own them but I never really played them much and I haven’t touched them in years now.

Have you ever dealt with noisy neighbors or roommates? How did that go? Yeah, when I lived with Chris our downstairs neighbours were always fighting, and then our old neighbours here used to have proper screaming rows and were always chucking stuff around. It was pretty awful actually. Who was (or is) the teacher that gave you the hardest time in school? I never really got a hard time from any of my teachers - I was a good student and I hated getting told off so I never really mucked around either. Best muffin you’ve ever had? I used to stay at a hotel in Canada that made the most amazing blueberry muffins. I also like the skinny peach and raspberry ones from Starbucks. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? Yeah, we had to in school. If so, was it required? ... How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? I’m always logged in as I access my business page through there, but mostly it just runs in the background these days. What area of math are you best at? Worst? I was awful at algebra and geometry. I wasn’t best at any of it, lol. How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? It’s great but it pretty much never happens, lol. How often do you “half-ass” things (put little effort in)? Whenever I’m tired or doing something I don’t have much interest in. Feeling like that tends to come in waves for me. Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? Only when I’m eating messy stuff or finger food. Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? I probably said I felt that way as a teenager but I was hugely prone to drama lol. How reliable is your internet connection? It’s been fine for months now.  Have you ever missed a meeting/event that was required/necessary? Yeah, but I got permission to skip it. What’s something that makes you incredibly nervous? Uhh, nothing much these days. What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed up to finish homework/a project? I pulled plenty of all-nighters in university. If you don’t have glasses, how would you feel if you had to get them? ..... If you do have glasses, how would you feel if you didn’t need them anymore? I don’t know, I’ve worn glasses since I was seven so I don’t really know what life is like without them lol. Lots of things would be easier without glasses but it would definitely take a lot of getting used to. How many vegetarians do you know? Not that many, actually. I live in farming country so most people eat meat and pride themselves on eating locally reared meat etc. Have you ever considered going to art school? Nope. Is there anyone in your life who consistently angers you? No, luckily I don’t need to put up with anyone like that. How quickly can you write an essay? I mean, it depends - what length? What’s the topic? Do I need sources and a bibliography?  Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? I never once fell asleep in school. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? Yeah, a few times. What bug frightens you most? Cockroaches. Are your parents supportive of you? They are indeed. How often do you take the train to go places? Never anymore. I drive and it’s just so much quicker and more convenient. Do you play with your phone in awkward situations? No, I try not to use my phone around other people unless it’s urgent or I’m looking something up. Have you ever participated in a mock trial, or a real trial? No, neither.

[fellowshipofthefics]

Hey Fellowship of the Fics! Please welcome @wanderingjedihistorian​ !! 👏🥳 Wander decided to share her thoughts and impressions on her fic: Understanding.

Question 1: Is this a fic you would recommend to someone who has never read your work? Why or why not?

Yep. It has a lot of my typical themes like Healthy Adult Conversations and healing, a little bit of fluff.

Question 2: What small detail are you super proud of?

The little thought sequence where Boromir thinks about Aragorn's request and the impact it would have had if the request was an order instead.

Question 3: What is a worldbuilding fact about this work that didn't make it into the fic itself?

Sam definitely teaches the Citadel cooks a few things about Proper Hobbit Meals.

Question 4:  What made you want to write this fic?

Honestly I knew this was a fic I was going to write as soon as I created this AU. Boromir and Frodo deserved the chance to sit together and talk after the war ended.

Question 5: What is something you wished we had asked you about this fic? (And then please answer it.)

What is my favorite thing about the fic? The fact that I kept it focused on healing rather than dwelling too much on the melancholy thoughts about their failures.

If you haven’t read this story yet, go back up to the top and be sure to click the link. Also if you haven’t seen Wander’s works before, here are some other fics that (pronoun) has done that are worth checking out as well:

The Importance of Days

Musings of a Morning

If you would like to get you and your story featured in Monday Mentions, please click the Application Link! If you have any questions/concerns with the form, please feel free to leave an ask or DM one of us! Questions will be updated each month so repeat writers and stories are welcome. New writers will be prioritized.

[gayerthanevertbh]

Skip this if it makes you uncomfortable (I know a lot of people don’t like this topic and I’d understand why you wouldn’t but ya) r who is married but having an affair with Nat 🤔🤭

R is tired of her husband, she cooks, cleans, takes care of him and he still doesn’t appreciate any of it. He comes home from work just to grab a beer and sit on the couch. When he invites his friends over, he expects you to clean up his mess. One night you got into an argument and went to a bar to have a drink or two and just cook yourself down. While you’re there you meet Nat, she notices you and tells the bartender that she’ll pay for your drink. When you go to pay and the lady says someone paid for you, pointing into the direction of Nat, you’re shocked. She was beautiful, gorgeous even. You watched as she slowly got up and started walking towards you, you neatened up your hair a bit as you wanted to look good in-front of her. After hours of talking she tries to get you to go home with her but you remember an important thing, you’re married. You deny her offer saying that you’re married and as much as you’d love to, you’re loyal. She tried convincing you by telling you he doesn’t deserve you and that he probably isn’t faithful either so why does it matter? She eventually stops and gives you her number saying if you ever want to meet up, call her. After a good day or so you decide to finally text her and get into a lot of conversations all day. You’re husband would come home pissed as you didn’t make dinner and forgot to clean something as you’ve been too busy talking to Nat, but you could care less. When your husband goes out on a ‘business trip’ you decide to call Nat and invite her over for dinner. You make the fanciest meal, set up candles, and clean to perfection. When you open the door you see Nat standing there with a flower in her hand, once you invite her in after taking her gift you fall into hours of talking. At some point it gets into your sex life and you tell her how you haven’t had a proper orgasm in years, shocking her. She continues talking about it, saying you deserve to have a man that will make you feel good. She eventually tells you that could help you out, as a friend of course. You debated for a while but realized there’s no point in saying no, you were probably going to get a divorce soon anyways and it’s not like he’s faithful either. She takes you upstairs to your bedroom and fucks you like no one has ever fucked you before, even being able to make you squirt. After that you both continue to see each other and eventually made it official between you two. When you come home to your husband after a night out with Nat you didn’t expect him to be standing there waiting for you to come home. As soon as you walk in he starts screaming in your face about how you’re a cheater, this goes on for what feels like hours until you finally decide to leave and 15 minutes later you find yourself standing at Nat’s doorway. She lets you in the house and you tell her everything, she comforts you all night long and reassures you that everything will be alright. While your asleep she makes a plan on what to do with your husband. How can someone be so foolish and dumb to let you go? She could never know but what she does know is that your husband is going to pay and that she’ll soon have you all to herself now <3

WHO WROTE THIS BECAUSE I NEED MORE HOUSE!WIFE READER AND TASHA BEAR OR EVEN JUST NATASHA PLEAAASEEE I NEED MORE OF THESE GOODNESS ME YALL DO THIS TOO GOOD

[lossie92]

As promised here's a snippet from A Hand to Reach For aka my "there was only one bed" abo fic.

Rn I'm starting on chapter 3, so it's good progress, consider I was at 2k only 3 days ago. Maybe I can actually finish it soon, who knows...

Hope you enjoy!

-

“Tobirama-san?”

“Hm?” Tobirama hummed distractedly in response as he turned his head to glance at Madara. They had decided to stop for a moment to eat something and Tobirama must have spaced out at some point. The other man was sitting only a few paces away from him, an open bento in his lap.

An embarrassed flush crept up Tobirama's cheeks. “I’m sorry. Did you… Do you need something from me, Madara-sama?” He hurried to say, hating how stilted and awkward he sounded.

“No, not really. I just… You haven’t touched your food in a while, is all,” Madara said, indicating the bento in Tobirama’s own lap which was indeed only partially eaten. “Is it not to your liking?”

Tobirama’s cheeks darkened even further, the blush spreading to his neck. Despite changing his own mind about Madara, he was probably on the right track to make the man hate him by being unforgivably rude.

“I… that’s not—” He stumbled over his words for a moment as he instinctively pulled the bento closer. “I was just… I was lost in thought. It’s very good. I, I apologise. I meant no offence.”

Madara blinked at him owlishly, clearly a bit taken aback. “I’m not offended…?” He said, posing it more like a question. “I was just wondering if perhaps I made you something you didn’t enjoy. Hashirama wasn’t the most helpful with your likes and dislikes, I’m afraid.”

If his grip on the bento wasn’t vice-like and if he didn’t absolutely refuse to let even one grain of rice in it go to waste, Tobirama would have surely dropped the box in shock at what Madara had just said.

“You— You made this? For me?”

“Of course I did,” Madara told him as if it was obvious. “I could hardly have you eat a ready meal and those ratios that are usually given out are rather… Well, they are disgusting, is what they are.”

It was of course a fair point. The standard provision packs offered to shinobi going on out-of-village assignments were despicable. Plain, flavourless mush with rice on the side that checked all the proper nutrition boxes at the expense of taste. It was honestly better to skip it and go straight into eating the Akimichi energy bars instead. They did have a bit of a weird aftertaste, but at least they didn’t make anyone actively sick to their stomach. 

Still, avoiding these didn’t exactly answer why Madara had felt the need to cook Tobirama food, never mind something that was tailored to Tobirama’s peculiar palate.

“Why?” Tobirama asked and then hurried on to add, “Not that I don’t appreciate it! Because I do! I just… I don’t understand?”

Madara snorted, clearly amused by Tobirama’s bumbling. “It’s not very complicated,” he said, the corners of his mouth lifting into a barely-there smile, “You are Hashirama’s brother and Jin-chan’s friend. It makes you a member of my pack by default.”

Tobirama’s eyes widened. “Oh. And that’s why you would—?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Madara confirmed. He seemed awfully nonchalant about this. “It’s part of my protective instincts. Whenever I go on missions with my packmates, I make them food they like, pack the things they could potentially need, make sure they feel well… Helps me stay focused, I suppose.”

Tobirama nodded slowly. “It… makes sense,” he said after a moment. And it did, very much so. Tobirama was just shocked to realise that all of this included him as well.

“And you are alright with it?” Madara asked. “You seem a little—”

“Yes, it’s fine,” Tobirama hurried to say. No matter how surprised he was, he didn’t want Madara to feel bad about doing something so nice. It was just his own insecurity getting in the way, nothing else. “Grilled fish is my favourite, actually. So thank you.”

Madara’s smile widened at that, the expression surprisingly heartwarming. “Ah, I’m glad to hear it,” he said. “Can I ask what else you like?”

“Sure. There’s just… There’s not much?” Tobirama could feel his face warming up in embarrassment. His eating habits had been a subject of jokes in his family for far too long to make him comfortable talking about them. “I just… My cousin, Touka. She likes to say I’m a picky eater and, well, um…”

“She’s onto something?” Madara finished for him, his smile turning into a full-on grin.

Tobirama shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe? I think I just have strong preferences. I just… I don’t see the reason to eat things I don’t enjoy, so I don’t eat them, that’s all.”

Madara hummed thoughtfully in response. “I get it. Food should be enjoyed. It’s not yet another chore to be completed, is it?” He said before adding, “But now I do need to know what you like to eat, Tobirama-san. The curiosity might just kill me otherwise.”

If Tobirama sniggered at that, it was his own business. 

Who knew Uchiha Madara actually had a sense of humour?

[amjustagirl]

Love knows not its depth (until the hour of separation) 

pairing: Kuroo x f! reader  genre: angst / fluff, post timeskip! warnings: a tiny smudge of suggestive content wc: 4.9k m.list ~ taglist. ~

a/n: this is my rendition of a grown up Kuroo. life has been a little hectic for me recently, so i’m only getting around to posting it now. pls be kind and i hope y’all love it <3 

“I need a break.”

Kuroo continues to snore. You are unsurprised he doesn’t hear you. After all, he came home glassy eyed, smelling strongly of alcohol after yet another night of drinks with his boss before quickly falling asleep in bed. It’s what he does most weekday nights, leaving you alone at home to manage your two daughters and tuck them into bed. 

“I’m tired, Tetsuro.”

You are too tired to even tell him how you feel. You have a career of your own, two daughters to raise, a never ending list of chores and errands that must be done. You are a mother, a wife, a career woman. You have so many roles to play yet there is no space for you. 

You must do something, anything or risk your heart imploding in your very chest. 

You cannot survive that. 

The next morning, you call your boss, ask for a day off. Then you pack your girls off to your mother’s place with two little suitcases with toys and clothes enough for a long weekend before you take the train to Hakone, check yourself into the ryokan with a view of Mt. Fuji that you spent your honeymoon at - except this time, you’re alone (but then again, you’ve been lonely for so long, you hardly notice the difference anymore).

You dip yourself into the hot waters of the onsens, watch bamboo sway in the breeze. It’s been at least a year since you’ve been even able to take a bath uninterrupted. There’s always something - Aiko needing help with her homework, Fumiko whining for another piece of mochi, your boss calling to chase for yet another report, so all you’ve ever had time for is a hurried shower before placating your daughters or seating yourself in front of your laptop to deal with your boss. 

Finally, you’ve stolen a day to yourself. It’s absolute bliss. 

The water is kind to you. Its heat soothes your aching muscles, the rising steam steadies your breath. You walk out of the baths feeling refreshed, renewed, but when you enter your room you find Kuroo Tetsuro waiting for you. 

“I’ve been calling your phone all afternoon”, he says, face pinched. “I was worried.”

“Were you?” you say before you can stop yourself. “Really?” 

“Of course”, he says, uncrossing his legs to stand. “You’re my wife and the mother of my children, of course I care.”

Wife. Mother. Employee. 

The roles that life has handed you haunts you again. There is no escape for you. 

Your skin suddenly feels as if it’s stretched too tight over your frame. Your bones rattle, brittle. They threaten to break if you take another breath. Yet you laugh and laugh and laugh, the sound spilling from your lips filling the room, suffocating the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears. 

“If you really cared, you would have noticed that your wife is broken”, you tell him between bouts of laughter. “I tried fixing myself with a break but you can’t even give me that.” 

Kuroo stares at you, equal parts horrified and confused. He takes a hesitant step forward towards you before thinking the better of it, swerving over to the kettle instead, clutching it as if it holds the cure to your madness. 

“Calm down”, he says, “take a seat”, and you do. He offers you a cup of tea. You accept it, even though you’re still shaking from the aftershock of your laughter. “Drink”, he says, and you bring the cup to your lips, though you wonder absently why you taste salt in the bitter tea. 

“Tell me what’s wrong”, he begs. “Tell me what I can do to fix you.” 

You want to tell him that you’re not strong enough to do what’s expected of you. You want to tell him that you’re drowning from the weight of being his wife, the mother of his kids, from being a working woman that he can be proud of. You want to tell him that you understand his career is important, but so is yours, and you can’t carry the weight of the world alone. 

But that would take too many words, and you are far, far too tired for that. 

So you say blankly - “I can’t do this anymore, Tetsuro.”

His face falls. 

You should remember that Kuroo Tetsuro, first and foremost, is a child scarred by his parents’ divorce. You should remember that you made promises that you and he would never put your daughters through that. But you’ve floated beyond hysteria into a grey indifference, your mind too broken, too tired, too numb to consider him when you can barely even hold on to yourself. 

You don’t even notice the hot tears soaking through your yukata. You are deaf to his pleas to give him another chance. There is nothing left in you to give because you’ve poured all you’ve had into him, into your family, into your job. You are so, so empty, and you just sit and sip your tea and wonder idly if the warmth from the liquid you’re ingesting will make you feel a little more alive, or if it’s possible to ease the dull ache in your heart. 

It is only when you wake up the next day and the sun is high in the sky that you register that he rolled out your futon for you, tucked you into bed, and kissed your forehead as a goodnight and goodbye. But all of this is washed away by the relief you feel when you read the note he’s left behind telling you that he’s returned to Tokyo, and to enjoy your break. 

So you do. 

You relish every bite of the meals you have at the ryokan. It’s nice not having to cook or scarf down your food at your office desk for once. You fill your time flitting between the onsens and curling up in your room with a book, taking frequent cat naps until tomorrow comes around again and it’s time to check out and head home. 

There’s a brief moment of surprise when the reception informs you politely that your husband already paid your bill - but you suppose that’s just Tetsuro being efficient at racking up credit card points. The bullet train takes you back to Tokyo, and a couple stops on the subway takes you home.  

“Okaeri”, you call softly out of habit, not expecting anyone to respond, but Kuroo responds with an even softer ‘Tadaima’, striding over to take your bags from you and usher you into the apartment. There are pink roses sitting in a vase, but you pay it no mind. 

“The girls?” you ask, already headed in the direction of their room. 

“I picked them up from your mom”, Kuroo responds. “Don’t wake them up, I just put them to bed”.

A peek into their room and it settles your mind to see that your girls are safe and sound asleep. 

“Thanks,” you say, back in the kitchen, checking the fridge for what you can whip up for breakfast for you and the girls tomorrow. “By the way, I’ll pay you back for the hotel room from my own money, don’t worry.”

“It’s fine”, Kuroo answers, scratching his head. His hair seems a little more rumpled than usual. “I’ll cover it. I should’ve realised you needed a break.”

“You sure? You don’t have to pay for me, I’ve got money of my own.”

“No, let me pay for it, please. It’s the least I can do.” 

You shrug. “Okay”, you say gracelessly. “Thank you.”

He continues to watch you over the kitchen counter as you lay out bread, eggs, ham, cheese. It’ll do for a quick breakfast for the girls tomorrow, never mind the guilt eating away at you that you really should do better than feeding them processed food all the time. You’re so preoccupied with planning the morning rush, the best way to clear the stack of reports that must have piled up on your desk at work by now that you miss Kuroo rounding the counter to stare down at you worriedly. 

“You haven’t had dinner?” 

“Oh no, I had a bento on the train on the way back.” It’s second nature to you to brush away anyone’s concern. “It’s for the girls’ breakfast.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take them to childcare before work tomorrow. Sleep in and take a break.”

“Really?” You stare back at him, confused. He doesn't even take charge of the girls in the mornings when you’re sick, your mother always has to fill in your place. He only ever turns up on the first day of school each year. 

“Yes, of course. In fact, I’ve rearranged my work schedule so I can take them to school all of this week at least.”

“Oh”, you say, brows furrowed in confusion. “Okay, I guess. Wake me up if you need my help.”

“I won’t”, he replies, with a cocky smirk that seems almost false. “Goodnight, love.”

You don’t think of Kuroo’s strange behaviour overmuch, falling asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. 

Kuroo continues to act strangely all of next week. 

As promised, he takes charge of getting the girls out of bed and ready for school. But you’re taken aback when he starts coming home for dinner, completely floored when he hands you a whole armful of bath salts and orders you to take a relaxing, hot bath while he wrangles both the girls and the washing machine into submission. 

He even calls your mother to ask her to babysit on a Saturday evening so he can take you out for dinner at a fancy restaurant that serves foam instead of food. You manage to stumble through conversation with him - a commendable effort, since it’s been so long since you’ve even held a proper conversation with him besides snatches of discussion about the girls. 

At least until he states during dessert - “we can make it work if you want to quit your job and stay home full time with the children.”

The mousse on your spoon melts by the time you put it down on your plate. 

“Did the guys at work tell you it’s easier to have a housewife instead of a working wife? Are you saying this because you don’t think I’m a good enough mother to our girls? Is that what this is about?”

Kuroo shakes his head frantically, reaches across the table for your hand, but you yank it away with a glare. The extra rest you’ve gotten this week has injected a little more fight in you. 

“I try my best to be a good wife and mother, but I’m sorry I can’t be perfect and be there for you and the girls 24/7.” You press down on the sliver of cake with a vengeance. Clink! goes the flat of your spoon against the porcelain plate. “I’m sorry for being selfish, but I don’t want to be reliant on you.”

You regret your harsh words when Kuroo slumps back into his chair, murmuring “I just wanted you to be happy. Forget I ever said that.”

He pays the bill and you walk home in silence. He bids you goodnight with a crumpled smile. 

It finally clicks when you are startled awake by Kuroo’s shout of alarm. 

You roll over, grabbing his shoulder to shake him awake from the nightmare that has him in its grip. His eyes jolt open, and the sight of your face makes him sink back into the pillow with a sigh of relief. 

“Thank the gods you haven’t left.”

“Why would I leave? This is my home, isn’t it?” You mumble, turning your back to him again. 

You feel the bed shift as Kuroo sits up. 

“No”, he rasps, voice rough with sleep. “I was afraid you left me”. 

Oh. So that’s what all of this is about. 

You must stay quiet for far too long, because he gingerly crawls over to you. 

“Dearest”, he says, your heart suddenly aching because you don’t remember the last time you heard him use that pet name with any amount of affection. “Darling”, he tries again, pawing at your back. You shut your eyes resolutely and refuse to turn to face him. 

He doesn’t give up, even though the distance between you seems to yawn wide and wider with each passing second. 

“Are you?” he asks, his words small, shrunken in the still, dark room. “Going to leave me, I mean.” 

No, you’re about to say, the word balancing at the tip of your tongue but it feels wrong. Your break has given you the space to breathe, the time to think. It’s made you realise what you’ve said to him in the ryokan that night remains true. 

This week has shown you that Kuroo can do better as a husband, as a father if he wants to. But he’s poisoned your marriage with neglect, forced you to dress up your sadness in silence, allowed your resentment to fester and simmer into frigid indifference. If you reassure him that you aren’t going to leave him, it’s only because you’re too tired to, not because you actually love him anymore. 

“I don’t know, Tetsuro. Our daughters deserve to grow up with both their parents, but I’m not sure I want them to learn from my example that it’s okay to shoulder the weight of marriage, parenthood and a full time job all by themselves. Your dreams and career are important, I know, but I’m just so tired of being alone in this marriage when it was always supposed to be a partnership between me and you.” 

You hear him choke back a sob. You should comfort him, but the exhaustion you feel at being honest with him, with yourself, weighs your bones down, forces you to sink further down into your mattress. 

“I’m sorry”, he finally says. 

“I’m tired, Tetsuro”, you whisper brokenly, clutching the blankets to your chin. “I think I deserve better.”

“I know. I’ll make it better, I promise.” 

You want to ask him how, but your eyelids grow heavy, and you allow yourself to submerge into slumber. 

You’re not sure what to expect, but the ground beneath your feet shifts. Things start to change. 

Kuroo continues to take your daughters to childcare in the morning on the way to work as he did last week. That very weekend, he straps Fumiko to his chest, takes Aiko by her hand, and within an hour at the department store aided by a flash of his credit card, he purchases a dishwasher and robot vacuum for the house. He loads the dishes without you asking, runs the robot vacuum remotely once a day. It buys you time to breathe, a little more time to sleep. 

He doesn’t always make it home in time for dinner, but he tries his best to rush home so he can read the girls a bedtime story and tuck them into bed. 

“Dada”, Fumiko lisps, chubby fists wound around Kuroo’s tie. ‘I wanna hear another princess story!” 

“No Fumiko! Papa promised to tell us how he met mama!” Aiko prods Kuroo’s side with the wooden doll Yaku sent from Russia that you know he abhors. ‘Keep your promises, papa!” 

“Alright, settle down you monsters. I’ll tell you two stories if you promise to go to sleep right after that.” The girls cheer. “Now. Let’s see. A long, long time ago, your papa met your mama when she decided to beat him up because she thought he was trying to steal her food.” 

“You were trying to steal my food”, you interrupt, leaning against the doorway amused. “You didn’t stop til I stabbed you with my fork.”

He glances up, surprised when you sit beside him on the bed. Then he grins. 

“You left it on the table, dearest. What was a guy supposed to think?” 

“Mama, please let dada tell the story”, Aiko interjects with a huff. 

“Hurry up, dada! I want the princess story next!” Fumiko pulls at her silly dada’s shirt, pouting. 

You both laugh. There’s a soft smile playing on his lips when his eyes meet yours. 

Travelling all around Japan is still part of his job as a marketing director of the Japanese Volleyball Association. But now Kuroo pares it down to the bare minimum, makes sure he’s always back by the weekend at the very least to sweep the girls in his arms and shoo you off for a break of afternoon tea with your friends or shopping with your mom. 

“Will you be ok when I’m gone?”

You hand him his suitcase, a flask of his favourite tea. “I’ve always managed fine. Nothing’s changed.”

He bends down to kiss Aiko on her forehead, pinch Fumiko’s cheek playfully. 

“Yes. Well. I’ll come home soon”, he says, quietly. You startle slightly as he brushes his thumb over your wrist, lets it drift over your pulse point. “Please wait for me.” 

You glance up at him from beneath your lashes. “I’ll see you soon then”, you reply. His smile widens, his eyes are hopeful, bright. 

On the weekends, he stops flitting off for work functions and events. Instead, now he joins you for lunches at the kaiten zushi near your house, indulging the girls by ordering yet another plate of sushi just so Aiko has another chance to win a toy from the gachapon and Fumiko has another chance at feeling grown up when she lifts the plate from the conveyor belt. He stops ducking out from dinners at the grandparents’ place - both his and yours. Your mom stops giving him dirty looks when he actually turns up more than three times in a row with sake in hand. 

Once every so often, he even throws little parties for your family of four, going so far as to buy a frilly pink apron that makes your daughters giggle when he whips it out for the first time. After a few mishaps (and a number of frantic calls to Fukunaga), he masters how to make takoyaki and okonomiyaki, and in the colder months, he makes steaming pots of nabe and shabu shabu. 

“Itadakimasu” you murmur, and the girls follow suit. “It tastes good”, you say. 

He ducks his head bashfully, pink dusting the column of his neck. 

“Thank you”, he replies. “That means a lot, coming from you.” 

You start to savour the bubbles of happiness in your chest when you see how your daughters’ eyes shine when they see their papa whip out the pink apron. You learn to laugh when you hear the pitter patter of little feet, their delighted squeals and shrieks when they tell you the latest exploits their silly papa is cooking up - sparklers under the stars one weekend, a nerf gun fight, the next.

The weight on your shoulders grows lighter and lighter until one day you hardly notice it at all. 

“What’s wrong?” you frown at the sight of your husband dashing out of your bedroom, hair a frazzled mess. 

He whips around at the sound of your voice. “Oh. Oh.” He approaches you, slowly, carefully. “You’re still here.”

Your frown deepens. “My boss called and asked me to send out an urgent email. I was just about to go back to bed. Tetsuro, is everything alright?” 

He nods. “It’s fine - I just... I just woke up and thought you were gone.” 

You take a closer look. It’s dark, but the shadows of the night fail to hide the purple smudges beneath his eyes, the fine lines carved into his brow. His shoulders are bowed, his lips downturned and he looks broken, battered.    

Your heart hurts for him. 

“I’m here”, you say, beckoning him towards you. Physical affection has been scarce between you two for so, so long but he looks so distraught it’s only natural to pull him close, let him rest his head on your lap. “I’m here, Tetsuro. I’m not about to run off into the night – you know I don’t like the cold.”

He doesn’t laugh at your feeble joke. “Are you happier now? Are things better for you?” 

“Yes”, you say firmly, combing your fingers through his hair, rubbing circles along his back. “Thank you, Tetsuro. I appreciate it. I really do.”

You can feel him sag in relief. 

“You don’t have to work yourself to the bone for me. That’s – that’s never what I was asking for. If you’re tired, you need to take a break.”

He shakes his head stubbornly. “I’m fine. I can bear it as long as you don’t leave me.” 

“Tetsuro –“ 

He sits up abruptly, takes your hands in his. 

“Promise you won’t leave me”, he begs, head bowed. “I know I’ve been a shit husband to you for so long. It’s no excuse, but I thought - ” he swallows heavily, waits until his voice stops wavering. “I thought we were ok, ‘cos we didn’t fight, not like my parents did before – before my mother left.”

“I was too tired to fight with you”, you say simply. 

He nods once, jerkily. “I know – I know that now. When you disappeared that day, I didn’t know what to do. I went to your mom’s place and she reamed me out, screamed at me in front of the neighbours. I took the kids back, and it made me realise how fucking hard it was for you to do it all alone.” He inhales, closing his eyes as if the memory aches. “I know it’s late but I’ve changed, I swear. The girls need you. I need you. I’ll do anything as long as you stay.”

His fingers are freezing, but you do not pull away. Not when the desperation reflected in his irises makes your heart lurch in pain.

“It was hard”, you confess, and he shudders, struck in the chest by your honesty. “It was so hard, Tetsuro. You hurt me so damn much that I think I became numb to the pain. I don’t think I was really functioning for a while. For a long while.”  

“I’m sorry”, he whispers, and you nod shakily. 

“I know”, you reply, reaching out a hand to cup his face, a bittersweet twist to your lips as he melts into your touch. “That’s a chapter of my life, of our marriage that can’t be re-written. We can’t rewind that. But the past few months have been so different. I – you’ve shown me you’ve changed. And I think –“

You fall silent. 

He prompts you. “Dearest?” 

You recall the glimmer of light in your daughters’ eyes every morning when he takes their hands to walks them to school. You hear the echoes of their laughter, the lilt in their sweet voices every night when they welcome him home. You think of the tea parties he throws, the blanket forts he builds, the frilly pink apron he wears without shame and the bedtime stories he weaves every night.

“I think”, you say, with a smile that reminds him of the rising sun. “I think we can make this work again.” 

He stares at you until the weight of your words dawns upon him, and he surges forward to fold you into his arms. 

“Thank you”, he whispers into the shell of your ear. “I won’t fuck this up again, I promise.” 

“Don’t thank me, you silly man”, you nuzzle into his neck sleepily, draping your arms around his waist. “Thank yourself for making me believe in you.”

He laughs wetly, cradling you close as you fall asleep against his chest, soothed by his heartbeat and the tenderness in his gaze.  

Fumiko wakes you up unceremoniously before the sun even rises by climbing into your lap, and you open your eyes to Aiko pouting, hands on hips, demanding to know what’s for breakfast, and dada, dada, make a ham sandwich, pretty please with a cherry on the top. 

“You guys are little monsters”, Kuroo teases with dancing eyes. “Can’t even give your papa a break to snuggle up to your mama.” 

The girls shriek in dismay. “Don’t be mean”, you admonish him gently. 

He mock sniffs. “I’m cranky in the mornings unless I get a morning kiss.”

Aiko and Fumiko crowd the sofa, clamouring to give their papa a kiss, but he stalls them with an imperious wave of his hand. 

“This morning, only a kiss from your mama can chase my crankiness away”. His tone is teasing, but his shoulders remain tense.  

“Nonsense. You make it sound as if kisses contain caffeine”, you scold, swatting his arm lightly as the girls giggle. 

“Yours do!” he protests, and you roll your eyes as you press your lips to the corner of his lips, laughing when he puffs out his chest and declares his day can now start, that everything’ll be as right as rain.

Some days are full of sunshine, whilst others are full of rain. That’s life – but it’s bearable, enjoyable even, now that you and Kuroo face each day together, thanking the sun when it shines, and splashing through puddles on rainy days. 

Things recalibrate. 

The mornings are his domain now – he’s a master at concocting the most random breakfast items to satisfy your finnicky daughters. Aiko sniffs when she informs you that she’d prefer her papa to braid her hair, thank you very much, and when you shoot a look of death at Kuroo, he can’t even keep his face straight, his trademark hyena laugh erupting from his chest. 

You cook dinner in the evenings, appreciating the times when he can join you at the table, not counting the nights he can’t against him because you know he’s trying his best. The girls clamour for his stories every night, laughing when he teasingly scolds them for yanking on his tie, demanding goodnight kisses from both him and you. 

Now you force Kuroo to take some time to himself, shoo him off for lunches with Kenma, get-togethers with his Nekoma schoolmates. “I know you can manage it”, you tell him archly, “but you need breaks  so you don’t burn out, or worse – you’ll lose your hair and we don’t want that”. When he opens and closes his mouth without a smart retort, you smirk. You get your way. 

Both of you organise parties and playdates, inviting your shared friends – Kenma, of course, is a frequent guest, Bokuto, who brings along Akaashi and his sweet tempered little son (who Aiko always manages to pick a fight with, much to Kuroo’s amusement). You host Kai, who always brings offerings of flowers from his garden, Yaku, when he’s in town with his daughter, son and alarmingly fat cat. The adults congregate in the kitchen with food and alcohol, cracking good natured jokes at Kuroo and his frilly pink apron, watching the children cause a ruckus in the living room. 

But you cherish the quiet moments you share with Kuroo at night when the children are asleep in bed. The chats you have whilst soaking in a hot bath about your day at work, the snippets of stories he shares about his boss, his crazy colleagues, the warmth of his arm around you as you stay up to clear emails late into the night, the heated kisses he presses to the nape of your neck to distract you when he thinks you’re working too hard. 

It’s a good life. You’re happy, and so is he. 

A year slips by. 

The seasons come full circle. You return to the ryokan, finding peace in soaking yourself in steaming pools, watching the bamboo sway, the sun rise over Mt. Fuji. But this time, you’re not alone. You persuade Kuroo that he, too, needs a break - deserves one, truly. So you leave the girls with your mother and take the bullet train down to Hakone. 

He shoots you a smirk as you both emerge from the private bath he’d insisted on booking. You swat at him, pulling your yukata higher up your neck, scowling as he winds an arm around your waist to press you into his side. 

“You couldn’t wait til we got back to our room?” you hiss at him. 

He chuckles lowly in response. “Didn’t hear you complaining”, he retorts. 

“We were in an onsen, Tetsuro!” 

“A private one”, he says with a waggle of his eyebrows, laughing aloud when you try and fail to slap your hand over his mouth. “What d’you think I was going to do with my lovely wife? I’m not a monk, sweetheart”

You try your best to shush him, but his cackling manages to capture the attention of everyone in the lift.  

“What a happy couple”, an old lady remarks, within your earshot. “They must be newly married” 

You think she must be a little senile. Or a little blind. 

Neither of you are in your first flush of youth anymore - there are streaks of grey in Tetsuro’s mop of hair, extra weight in your hips and lines in your faces. No one could conceivably mistake you for a pair of newlyweds.

“Nah”, Kuroo drawls easily into your ear. “Just your regular old, married couple.”

You don’t speak until you’re safely in your room. 

“A regular, old, happily married couple”, you say, as he hands you a cup of tea. “That obaa-san got that part right at least.”

Kuroo chokes on the lump of emotion in his throat as you serenely sip your tea. 

The tea tastes bitter (as it always does), but the kisses that follow are so very, very sweet. 

[ririsann]

I just recently followed you…and frckn hell FHFJFKFK WHY ALL UR POSTS ARE SO HCKN GOOD???? I lit spend all my day reading and then REreading all of them ahah thank you for such a ✨masterpiece✨ (my heart can stand THIS amount of perfection and cutenes 💔)

Sooo…I saw that your rqs are open now, so can I possibly request the boys (preferably bonten!Mikey, Chifuyu, Izana and Koko) with very soft, caring and king-hearted s/o (someone who is like “when you can’t fine the sunshine, be the sunshine” type) ? Every time I read about Mikey, I feel this sudden need to hug him, feed him(I mean hey, the guy needs to have a proper meal) and just reassure him that he deserves everything in this world. Kinda same goes for Izana and Koko….about Chifuyu, well, I just want to smother him with hugs, kisses, love and affection and tits too💔

If you don’t want to write, it’s all cool and fine! Just be safe and comfortable with whatever you do💓

Take care 💓💓💓💓💓

「 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬 」

when their s/o is a their ball of sunshine.

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠... sano “mikey” manjirou, matsuno chifuyu, kurokawa izana, kokonoi hajime x gn!reader (separate)

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - bonten!mikey, mentions of (consumption of) alcohol (mikey & koko’s), petshop!chifuyu, pre-tenjiku!izana, bonten!kokonoi

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 - GOD I ALSO WANNA HUG MIKEY??? AND TY FOR THE COMPLIMENTS??? i honestly dont think i do very well but if u like it then ill still be writing <33 BUT YEAH IM SUCH A HOPELESS ROMANTIC AND TOUCH STARVED ARUGRHGHJDSFHKJ AND THEY’RE MY BABIES TOO.. they all deserve it. every single one of them deserve the best hugs. (also, mini break from fooled ya because i want some variety but i am working on it!! <3)

𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐘 doesn’t live the best life. a life of crime, a life of mental illness, a life of loneliness. this is what people mean by “money can’t buy you happiness”.

though somehow, through his troubles and “dark impulses”, he found you-- his beloved spouse. got married as soon as the two of you could, knowing each other since he started his second gang, kanto manji gang.

it sounds really cheesy; the both of you knew that, but frankly, who was to judge when you still loved each other like any other couple?

the years pass and manjirou disbands kanto manji gang and heads off to start up something new... bonten. before that, he cuts and bleaches his hair to match someone he knew of (apparently). though he’s not much of an artist, he designs the logo and insists that he gets it as a tattoo. 

and he changes. he becomes more and more cold towards you and everyone else around him. you worry that you had done something for this to happen, but after days and days of thinking, you couldn’t think of anything you had done.

you were relatively easy-going with his decisions, and often times supported him unconditionally. so what happened? you really couldn’t figure it out, but you did know one thing amidst your roaring questions.

you still loved him, and you were sure that he still loved you. deep down, he cared for you in different ways, but he always swore to protect you and keep you happy.

～　佐野万次郎　～

in just a few days from now, it was going to be you and manjirou’s 10th year wedding anniversary, though you haven’t even been seeing each other much since he rarely came home and when he did, he would either come home at ungodly hours of the night or ignore you completely. it honestly hurt a little to be married and in love with a man who barely acknowledges your existence anymore.

“what should i do... wait will he even come home on time!?”

you laid your head down on the table of the vip room of a bar that your husband owned. next to you was a mostly-sober yuzuha, accompanying your drunken breakdown. a few shot glasses were strewn across the marble top.

“you’ve asked that about twenty times already, (y/n). let’s get you a ride home--”

“NOPE! i can... i can walk home..!” you retort, though clearly under the influence. “i’m a grown adult, i’ll be fine!!”

you were not fine, though you got home safe.

there was lots of drunk people out on the streets-- catcalling you vulgarly, calling you slurs, you name it. not like you were so much more sober than them, but you were sober enough to process their words.

for the majority of your life, as far as you could remember, you were either the top dog that everyone listened to and praised or protected by mikey, so you forgot how it felt for this to happen.

once you got home, just just went straight to your shared bedroom to see yet another note on your nightstand. it looked like scribbles to you at the moment, so you made the executive decision to just not read it, like the past few notes you’ve gotten. it was probably from mikey, seeing how he was the only other person with the key, and it probably said that he wasn’t gonna be home for a while (again).

you sigh, softly landing on the giant bed. somehow, it wasn’t the lonely, stone cold bed it usually was. it was surprisingly warm.

alarmed, you jump up and take a better look at the assumed-empty bed. there laid your husband, still in his normal all-black clothing. jeez, did this man ever change his clothes? they must be dirty and musty to say the least.

“manjirou?!”

“that’s me, alright.” your heart started to race, and breathing started to become heavy. he notices this and his eyebrows furrow. 

“hey, hey, what’s wrong, sunshine?” 

sunshine. he hadn’t called you that in years. 

“why don’t you ever fucking come home, you douche??” at this point you were sobbing. as if the alcohol you consumed wouldn’t make you dehydrated, the crying would. “you make me so worried, you know that??”

he gets up from the bed and gives you a soft hug. you nuzzle your head into his shoulder while your bawled your eyes out. there were faint traces of some kind of cologne on him, and it seems like he just showered too.

“c’mon, let’s go to bed. i’ll explain everything to you when you wake up.” he tightens the embrace.  “just remember that i’ll always love and protect you.”

after a few more minutes of his warm embrace, you let go. 

“the (y/n) i know doesn’t cry like this. they’re always bubbly and smiling.” he gives you the biggest smile you’ve ever seen him give anyone.

“and most importantly, the one who’s given my life meaning.”

𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐘𝐔 loves you to bits and loves to spoil you with all of his money. he would buy you the whole world if he could. (he’s working on it, but this capitalist world isn’t working out for him.)

and no matter how much he loved you, you loved him back even more. like it was some kind of competition. “who could love each other more” every single day. sometimes the two of you would flirt inside of the petshop after closing and kazutora would be sick of it after a long and tiring day.

“i know you love each other, but would it kill you if you just waited until you got home??”

“nah, i gotta recharge my energy so i can help you.”

“WE’VE BEEN DONE CLEANING FOR TODAY.”

the two of you enjoyed doting on each other and always went out of your day to do some kind of act of service for the other, especially during work hours.

for example: you would purposely wake up late and promise to take the train over to the petshop every so often to give it to him when you finished.

“yeah, it’ll just get it over to you! you should go before you’re late again, fuyu.”

he, on the other hand, would show up unannounced, saying that there was an emergency but it was just that he was taking you out of work early that day for a date. (he would do this while the two of you were in school too.)

he was... quite dramatic.

“I NEED (L/N) (Y/N)-- IT’S AN EMERGENCY!!”

“please calm down sir; tell me what’s happening--”

“TELL THEM IT’S PEKE J..!”

“you came here last week and said that he was dead.”

all would end well anyway. either it was a day off for you or a small visit that’ll always make his day was enough for the both of you.

it would all become good memories anyway. the two of you promised to always stay together, even if times were tough. you were like the epitome of the ideal couple, really. everyone in high school was jealous of the two of you and how perfect you were.

“wow, look at matsuno and (l/n), aren’t they cute together?”

“i would be devastated for them if they ever split up!”

“god, i wish i were them.”

from the start, this relationship wouldn’t have started if not for your bubbly attitude. always so friendly to everyone, and never really held any real grudges.

you were his sunshine, and he swore to always protect you even at the cost of his life.

𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐍𝐀 was weary of love. he was an orphan, and the son of a whore. not to mention that he was mixed in a mostly homogenous society like japan, he was destined to be outcasted from the start.

he had only experienced familial and platonic love once in his life separately. sano shinichirou and kakuchou hitto, respectively. 

he had felt betrayed by the man who he had called his brother, and never wanted to look back. he believed that love was fake, and that kakuchou was his only crutch in this world.

or that was what he thought until he had met you.

unlike him, you loved everyone. you were friends with everyone. and you didn’t care about what they looked like, did, or came from. as long as they weren’t an immediate threat, you were determined to make them your friend.

of course, this applied to izana. and maybe a little too well. because he quickly fell in love with your positive attitude towards everything. obviously, you knew how to still know right from wrong and when to acknowledge reality from positivity, but you were bright.

and he loved that about you.

the two of you met while he was on a bench in a park. it was a particularly nice day and you had taken a day off from work, so a nice stroll would make your day better, wouldn’t it?

it was getting a little dark at that point, though it was in a pretty well-lit area so you weren’t so scared. for years, you took martial arts classes and climbed up the ranks and ever since then, you continued to practice your skills though quit the formal classes. quite a formidable opponent, if you do say so yourself.

during your short saunter around the small park, you saw a tanned man with outgrown white hair. it looked natural, and it didn’t seem like it would be because of any type of albinism. he was laying on a bench, cuddling to himself on the cold autumn evening.

“uh, sir, would you like something..? like a blanket or a jacket..?” he looks up at you with the most empty eyes you had ever seen on a person.

“no, i’m fine.” and he left it at that. he didn’t even look at you, though he saw a glimpse of your clothing and liked to refer to you as the “red scarf person”. 

from that point on, you took it upon yourself to see if he was there every night. spoiler alert: he was. 

after a few consecutive nights of spotting him on the exact same bench, you decided to offer him a place to stay. you weren’t the wealthiest, but you had enough space and money to take care of someone by yourself for a few months.

you took in a big breath, preparing yourself for possible rejection or a random dude living with you because you cared too much. 

“okay... i can do this. this is fine, he’ll just move out at some point anyway...” you mumbled to yourself.

as you made your way towards him, you checked your back if you had the backpack full of items for him if he didn’t accept. if you couldn’t house him, then you would at least have things to help him.

“hello?” you meekly peeked towards the spot where the tanned man laid to see if you were intruding as if you weren’t in a public park outside and in front of a bench.

he glances up, recognizing that red scarf that you had worn every time you went to check up on him inconspicuously. he didn’t wanna show it, but he was excited. he saw you hiding behind trees and pretending not to be there for the past few days.

“hm? there something you need?” on the outside, he seemed indifferent. on the inside, his heart was bouncing around, though he just felt like he shouldn’t trust you.

“oh! hi! i don’t know if you remember me but i’m the one who asked if you needed a blanket or jacket the other day?” he looks at you with bored eyes, though you could tell that he was fairly interested. “well, i was wondering if you were interested in a place to stay? you can, um, can stay at my place for the time being..! i know it’s weird to suddenly have a stranger come up to you and--”

“--okay.” 

you blink, trying to process what he has just muttered. 

OH MY GOD HE JUST AGREED... WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO??

“sure thing!! you must be cold-- i have a spare coat in my backpack that i brought. you can keep it, it’s old anyway.” he thanked you and you started to making your way back to your apartment, every once in a while looking back at him to make sure he was following along.

once you got to your apartment, which was actually quite far away by foot, the man stops at the doorway.

“if i died, would you be sad?” what a weird question. you laughed a little, though he didn’t.

“of course i would! why wouldn’t i?” he smiles.

“i’ll think of you too.”

in reality, he saw you as someone who would always stay by his side, just as the sun always came back after each night.

𝐊𝐎𝐊𝐎 was always left alone or used for his money-making prowess. he never really had any lasting friends, especially after leaving inui.

just like another certain bonten executive, he would only trust and be loyal to mikey, believing that everyone is a backstabbing bitch or would end up leaving him.

it was another night with the other executives. at a bar, out in the open, though each person hired someone to accompany them. 

you and koko had met years before him reaching out to hire you. it had probably been almost half a decade before this, honestly. he was attracted to your positive view on the world and everyone around you.

he found you intriguing.

as someone who never really had someone who would keep to his side, he really wondered how someone could trust others so innocently-- so easily, just as he used to.

he also denied the fact that he actually did have feelings for you. not just platonic feelings, but romantic ones.

but god, there was just something about you that he just couldn’t explain. something that always brought him back to you.

maybe it was the way you presented yourself. confident, flawless, and very animated. never could he imagine you being down in the dumps.

～　九井一　～

“so you wanted to hang out... at a bar..?”

“do you not like it here? there’s nothing stopping you from leaving.” you sighed and leaned into his embrace. he was so warm... either that or it was the alcohol. you only had around two or three shots, but your face was already so warm.

“no, i just would think that we would be somewhere else. maybe for dinner or something..?” he looked down at you for the first time that night.

“why don’t we do that the next time i’m free, yeah?” you look up at him and give him a big grin.

“so you’re paying, right?”

“anything for that radiant smile of yours.”